The Believer; A Dreamer.

Monday, April 28, 2008

going into overdrive

My mind id going into overdrive. I just did a horrendously sloppy work for my RJC Essay. What am i thinking. Im not gonna prove this smartass people wrong if i give a sloppy essay to present. NONONO. Im gonna find the time to edit it later, for not, im dozing infront of the computer screen and i REALLY need sleep cos im running 2.4 tmr for FB morn training.

Yes, morn trainings are on again. and now, there are 3 rainings per week. Just the thought of it weakens me. I dont even know what to think of it. Oh my my. Im not even done with the ASEAN way case study due for consult tmr.

And tmr there is relay practice at 6pm right before the real run?! OMGOSSSSHHH. And how the hell am i gonna find the time to do my RJC essay! BOOHOOOO.

Im being a baby complaining so late into the night. I cant help now, can i? I jsut want to bury myself in my pillows now. Goodnight world, and please give me strength for tmr dear god.

Friday, April 25, 2008

its too late baby, theres no turning around~

So just take a deep breath.

Hello Helloh.

Its my 200th post. I should be more excited than this shouldnt i. But i shant even bother feigning excitement cos im jsut mentally, physically worn. I dont want to complain so, dont take this as a blabber boring post kay! Its a refresher. =)

Anyway, the week started off alright, except for the shocker whereby Mr Mahmood told us we were going to have a test on Friday that very week for 5 topics in which ~~ridiulously~~ only one one Q will be coming out. SIGHHHH. Panic attack can? Cos thurday we were having econs international trade test. Goodness.

But thankfully, after telling Mr Mahmood our dire situation, he cut us some slack and told us the Q was going to be on China! WOOHOO. my topic! =)

Econs test wasn well done simply because i took a long time doing the 10m q and only managed to write one and a half pages for my 15m q. Dammit! =( That test was pretty manageable.

The week wore on as i only had barely 5-6 hours of sleep a day and that sure as hell sint enough. I found myself dozing off towards the last 20mins of math lecture, but economics was harder to doze off thanks to the extreme fast pace the lecturer went to finish up foreign exhange and guess what?! She didnt even complete it and we have to do the reading ourselves. GREAT RIGHT?

Then thursday was relay practice till 7+pm. Ohmygosh. We practiced till it drizzled and went all dark that you jsut sufficiently see the figure running towards you. It was tough because we kept on running to fast or too slow for each other and thus the passing of the baton(??) was really bad. And the "heats" which was really to fight for lane position on Wednesday was to on Saturday. I came to school again on fri at 7.15 to practice relay. SIGHHHH. lack of sleep again.

Then, photo-taking with class was really fun! I love my class despite the shit we go thorugh, no thanks to the boys. but it seems the class numbers shrank and only 4 boys made it and 10 10 girls? Humourous, i know. Then i was time to start on the RJC seminar history project. sigh, there were so many road blocs, but im glad i working with Melissa, shes so easy-going and that makes working with her a little less pressuring. I just couldnt wait to get home but not before checking out the taurus house dance/cheer! WOOHOOO. I think its ncier than last year though the transition from position to position was extremely messy but there are more stunts and more cool moves. HAHA. I cant wait for 30th April. It will be a great night. Something to remember from 2008.

Then came saturday. Leg cramps and NJC friendly at ValHall. SO the plan was to complete heats then, head to Valhall for friendly but my heats ended so late like, 10.15 am and training-cum-friendly was to end at 11am. Im HIGHLY disappointed. I really wanted to be part of the squad. the feeling of not playing is soooo disappointing, i was looking forward to it cos coach was going to be there and i really wanted to have a feel of a porper match. But i guess i will have to wait for the next friendly? I hope so.

Anyway, the heats didnt go too well. I tot i was too fats for Ada to catch up but apprently she didnt feel her best due to the netball match the day before. So, we were ermm last *coughs*. So, what was i talking about again? HAHA. Oh, i was very anti-social and emotional too. There was a point i felt like crying, and i dont know why. thank goodness they called for 4x100 right after so i dint have to deal with these emotions for too long. it was pretty boring but it was so nice to see he 8 by 50. HAHA. amusing even cos everyone was so scterred and now, you have the baton, now, you dont. That kind of speed. HAHA. I want to congratulate Nik and Lydia and many other taurus people who did so well. But, i hope we'll have more cheering to do come wednesday evening.

But i hope we'll train again and be more prepared and focussed on Wedsnesday cos i feel we can really run as the team really has the heart for it. By the way, my team consists of Ada, myself, Jia ling and Nami. So, i'll be looking forward to Wednesday evening and will be expecting a tougher competition. =)

My right thigh is hurting. SIGH. I love sprinting. I wished they did that more often for pe. Okay, i dont im great or even half as good as nik, but i mean, the adrenaline pumping and the speed youre going, its jsut mind-blowing. Too bad this will be the last sports day, i'll ever be part of. I hope it'll be filled ith memories man. all my freinds, and Taurus cheers and screams. Safa, bring on SIRENS. nic, bring on the spirit. and mel, take care of yourself! WOOHOO.

Okay, im going to do history and then maybe sleep then study, then watch soccer tonight at 10pm.

overall the week was good but exhausting. i dont think i can take this kind of exhausting week two weeks in a row but i think its possible since we'll be training for relay soon. Oh my my.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

That's what you get when you let your heart win

its sunday. And im suppose to spend the last hour of my sunday before 11pm revising international trade but im online chatting to a good friend, Zhi Xiang, and getting pics from him. Im really testing the patience of time. I think all Zhi Xiangs are nice people arent they? Yup. I think so.

Anyhow, mun ling called after my heart-wrenching moment and we talked for an hour plus. she was having this small fit with aveil and i was jsut bumming around my study room trying to think of somethg to do online. So, hey misery loves company.

Anyhow, i think im truly addicted to The Audition and Danny. Altho i think he looks like a dracula cos he has these "fangs-like teeth!". CREEPY. but he is soo nice. He almost said no to the band cos he didnt want to quit school and bcos of his girlfriend. AWWWWWW. but he did anyway. HAH!

Also, well, theres no also. Actually i wanna watch Paramores new vid called "That's what you get". It looked really like Paramore before they could afford all those expensive "Misery business" video. and it has a very interesting line in it, which is somewhat pessimistic. Which is the title of my entry. dont you think thats just scary?

What really happens when you let your heart win?

Saturday, April 19, 2008

dumb act to follow

My brother did the most stupid thing today.

He deleted his desktop in hopes of removing what he thought was his documents that was causing major pop-ups problems. What kind of loser thinks that way? Tell me? Please tell me.

In the process of completing his stupid retarded act... My folder was on his desktop thus he ended up deleting that too.

I reiterate, what kind of loser thinks of removing pop-up problems by deleting his whole desktop?

I am fucking angry and ive been crying since i heard his dumb, foolish, retarded act.

It truly is retarded, and you say that you are good in all things computer related and youre studying design tech!

My folder effing consisted pics of school, my friends and even the bbq 32A. All those are gone. How can i not be pouring my eyes out now.

Really. who he hell things that way???!!??!

and the worst thing is... he didnt even say sorry. He smirked a little defended himself a little and continued strumming.

I hope God gives me the patience to see his face without rearranging it today and tmr.

seriously, dhow umb can you possibly get??

Friday, April 18, 2008

draw a new breath, i swear i'll show you.

The week started prettp poorly. but it just kinda got worse. But, it ended pretty well, in school thanks to YOGA. Yes, i went for a YOGA enrichment programme planned by the REd Cross Scoiety in our school. It ISNT as bad as yu think, they actually brought in a professional. That was really good. He thought us proper breathing and some postures. Im so glad i went for it,at the expense of Floorball training. Anyhow.

My GP teacher pissed me off today. I dont even want to go into it, but seriously, if it wasnt for my poor grade thus the need of his help and the thought that he will be my teacher till october, i would have seriously told him off for his poor handling of the whole situation. What the hell. Freakin piss now thinking about it.

Im so glad Saosin are breaking into the sinagpore scene. Its about time, well, it should have been looong ago since they are absolutely fab. When i was listening them which was one or 2 years ago, nobody here knew about them. Which i couldnt understand cos they made great music with Voices and even Youre not alone, my favourite song from them. Im just glad they are here finally. America actually has many great bands that havent broken into the Singapore scene.. which is sadd. I think over here its more of a hip hop, rnb pop scene. Im currently listening to the audition, and i think they are really good too. HAHA. Anyhow, if youre interested, some bbands i'd recommend would be all time low, we the kings, the audition, the almost, story of the year and lostprophets. I need more good bands, maybe i shall browse thorough myspace later.

Im trying to catch a movie but all the quality sucks. GOSSHHHH.

OH, i forgot to mention, i met Nuresah and her love on thursday. and i smelt like crapp larh thanks to the long day! Also, i met that funny zhi xiang? LOL. dunno how to spell. and he was mocking me cos i sighed when mures wnate to take pcs. And he was saying "imagine this. Your husnabd says 'syuhrah sweetheart, lets take our wedding pictures, and you sighed (with action somemore)' and we all jsut burst out laughing like 7pm near a street lamp! How ridiculous. But it was so nice to see them all again. i shall post pics soon! =D

i wanna jet off. I dont feel like myself today, at least the audition is making me feel better. *major sigh*

Monday, April 14, 2008

Im in LOVE with how you feel

I literally feel like life has been sucked out of me. I didnt notice how tired i was until the bus ride home. GEEZ. I was so hungry i jsut ate w/o bathing and everyone was jsut reminding me of how i smelt and i was jsut like "Let me eat first can..."

To make things worse, the bus ride home was one of the worse by far. WTHHHH. This couple was like trying to smooch and i think that they are seriously out of their minds! This is a public bus, and for god's sake, external cost incurred by me! =S not to mention they were in lower sec. SIGHHHH.

SANITY, where art thou??

And you whats the worse part of all this??

Its just MONDAY.
I swear... @#$^*%##&!#^*$@#$^&#@!^*(.

Okay, im off to construct a proper conclusion for my history essay.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

wake up where the clouds are far behind me...

about 5 minutes ago, my brain was all mushhy, no thanks to Permutation and Combination, affectionately known as P&C. (economics joke: affectionately known as ERP!)

and im online now to help out with the history essay.

but now, im all calm, because i watched Jason Castro sing 3 times, and began blogging. WOW. im in a more peaceful state. That was a good song, Castro. I really hope you'd do this week in and week out. David "POMPOUS" Cook wont stand a chance for final 2 if you sing this way! Keep singing from your heart and please, dont do anything mediocre. PLEASEEEE, youre waaayyyy better than that.

Okay, personal msg to Castro over. and dont you dare say it wont reach him, the power of advance tech, you may never know!

Anyway, math jsut totally made me realise, that im not ready for the week's test. HUGE RESIGNATION. okay. Got to stop wallowing in self pity and try again tmr morning. When these questions are tough, they are really tough. Its crazy!

Anyhow, im off already larrhhh okay, i think N!k's spying somewhere! HAHAH. KIDDING! =P

i want to go where the bluebirds fly.

Friday, April 11, 2008

to Gossip or not to gossip!

i jsut got off the phone with Babe. we talked for the longest time since, forever? And i truly miss it.

I remember, i'd call her when my minds at the edge, and how we'd pull through all the tough times, when college seems unbearable.

I miss her a lot. then, i could jsut turn 45 degrees and see her talking to ahmad afzal but now, its always a sms or call away. We barely get to meet but i cant complain. I'd rather have her here than in PJ anytime.

So to babe, goodnight. I hope we managed to keep each other in tune to the ever frenzied pace of college life, gossips or not.

I love you a lot, and i care for you. Just thought you should know, in case your STM kicks in anytime soon.

Cheers to the year and the hardship!

A little too precious to lose

We don’t have time left to regret
It will take more than common sense
So stop your wondering take a stand
Theres more to life than just to live

a little less than perfect.

that is how i'd sum up this week. Altho' training was amusing before TRAINING really started. Dont ask me, lets jsut say, if youre from IJ and i dont know you, and youre reading my blog, please DONT tell me that youre reading my blog. I feel invaded, and i really would rather not know. Call me ignorant, i'll call you K-PO CHIPPP. Okayokay, just kidding. But just dont tell me, i have this ridiculously irritating syndrome called panic hysterium (make sense of it yourself) and i really cannot exist in such a state for more than 20 secs, if i do, i start gasping, and you dont want to see me gasping! HAHAH. Got it?? Awesome! =D

Anyhow, the week started off fine with the medal presentation, and i just read Su's tag, and totally laughed! HAHA. niche people are evil huh - except YOU. LOL. so much for "there's no I in team"! My friends were saying they could see my pink clip from far.. Haiyo. Of all days to clip my hair. At least my exaggerated speech was read! HAH! And as much as i think niche CCAs are overrated, i still support them in winning tournament, okay su! You can count on that. But seriously, the boys soccer team, they jsut lost 2-0 top serangoon. uhh....??

And finally the trilogies, of trilogies - the finale. Liverpool VS Arsenal in the ultimate clash. OH MY MY. dont you just love waking up at 2.30am and watching a football match for 2hrs, holding your breath, anticipating for the whistle in extreme exhilaration. That just spelt wednesday morning. The feeling was great as Pool won 4-2 with the atmosphere beyond words. My dad and I were high - fiving furiously! I was prancing on the couch, that my bro had to warn me of the fan. I would hate to lose my head... GET IT GET IT???

But, the week started to wore on, as usual. I cannot believe i signed up for 4x100. Somebody, tell me why??? Why did i let Lydia Mak do this to me?? -.-

And then, the much awaited PeeDoubleEWWW results came out. Im not elated, overjoyed, and all those nonsensical overrated words, but i am satisfied. Alhamdullilah. My group put up a pretty alright(??) performance, with 3 Bs and 2Cs. Sighh.. i really worry for my friends but i jsut hope this will spur them on and encourage them to do better in their H2s. All The Best guys. Babe got Bee too. And i was glad she agreed that it was all too "mediocre". SIGHHH. I jsut want this to be a learning lesson though, i will never ever want to experience PeeDoubleEWWW ever again. Im sure i'll face something worse in the working world though, but by then, i hope i'll be good enough a leader and a little less emotional? Ive to work on those two qualities.

I told Aveil he sucks cos he got an A. Ive yet to meet this guy but if anyone can make my Babe smile, perhaps even better than i can, deserves props and some "You suck" moments. LOL. He sounds nice, babe, you never needed my approval.

NAPHA is over, and i think a gold is within my reach. I hope. I never was into getting Gold for NAPHA in secondary school, so im glad im a changed person, more fit then i ever was then.

Come to think of it, ive changed quite a bit. i think so anyway. But ive half a year and more to go to see the absolute transformation of me. More pimples? more wrinkles? i hope thats from laughing with my friends. I think, mostly i jsut want to learn to appreciation every second i got. i think its a little too precious to lose?

Ive got to hand in my essay to nik tay in 1hr 15 mins and i know she'll kill me when she reads this but ive not got down to writing a single word. I deserve to be beheaded like the Duchess.

Okay gotta ciowxed. the duchess' death is indeed a watershed, i wonder if my death will be.

And i think its okay to cry when you feel low.
Its okay to smirk when you dont like him
Its okay to be quiet when you want to be left alone.
Its okay to be honest with me cos you know, i'll take it in for you.

and you never were a burden. Im just sad you never knew.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Because the best things in life... you dont expect.

I had the jitters.

"Come on girls. You can do it!"

I had jitters - still.

I went on the pitch, looked apprehendingly at Ayuni and Siti. And i thought "Well, i have to do my best, they won, we'll have to win this too."

There goes the whistle.

"Siti, right!"

SHOOTS.

I scored one for the team. Okay, im sure there were better goals during all our matches, but this is my blog so i wanted to highlight mine. Cannot issssittt?? HAHAH. Besides, it was a good assist from Siti. And i am so happy about the partnership Siti, ayuni and I have carved jsut during the past few days. Not to mention, the lost of 7-0 at the hands of Coach. HURH. But we played well, and finished the game 1-0. Sweet victory for me. And ~~Bedok Resrvoir Punggol CSC~~ IJ girls went on to beat RJC, And TJC 3-0 and 2-1 respectively. Making us top the group with 9 points! then it was quater-finals where we went head on with RJC's other team Hera and beat them... hmm.. i cant remember! 2-0?

Sadly, we crashed out in Semis. Lost our composure when we trailed by one (tyco) goal. Okay, i shouldnt say that, i missed out 2 opportunities to settle the game thanks to my fumbling attics. GEEZ. What a waste. But we werent totally out of the game, we still could fight for third position! HURRAH. And we did. Those girls from northbrooks were vicious! Their defender was really fierce. I had to really push her to the corner to try to get the ball, and even then, i failed and she was given a corner cos there was too mcuh shoving. =( We managed to come out with a zero all and it was down to penalties. Thank god i was substituted out earlier. I didnt have to take the penalties. And im proud to say, our Captain Aza managed to clinch that 3rd spot for us! HURRAH! =D

I will be expecting a tougher challenge come A-divs. Oh the jitters! Oh my... but im glad to have a medal.

And heres to the niche sport in our school, in your face.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

so not kelakar!

*so not funny, translated

i just completed a 13 marks economics essay and now im re-doing my best essay which is worth 25 marks. i am seriously worn. the thought of having to do ANOTHER essay after this 25 marks essay jsut irks me. OMGGGOSSSHHH. i should stop looking out for eye candy and start getting down to reading more articles of Gippy and Economics. SIGHHHH.

I jsut wanted to complain. Im sorry if i wasted your time. I just wasted mine too. And now, im off. Econs consultation tmr and i have no idea if i want to go for training though my heart says go! my head and body is just like... you rest.

I finally know the technicalities of a wrist-shot, thanks to Jamie. LOL.