The Believer; A Dreamer.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

two way monologue

two way monologue by sondre lerche.

Im so wornnn... been stuck on the com doing economics essay! I know i should be happy but, my eyes hurt badly and i need a break, but beofre that, let me blog.

I finally passed Economics. and im ever so proud of my case study. 16/30. WOW. ive never gotten that. I swear my face was like in shock when safa passed it to me. HAHA. I was so overjoyed. But, safa didnt do too well, so she was pretty bummed. Thats goes the same to Mun Ling. Dont worry dears, you guys will do better. Just dont give up and keep pressing on okay. Anyhoos, since passing, im more motivated to do better for economics. Im was so thankful to Ms Wang for setting up consultations for our class. I feel that shes been so dedicated and i say "BRAVO!" to her. If she doesnt give up on us, we shouldnt give up on ourselves too. So 32A, pick yourself up and lets jsut head forward! =D

As for my other results, i passed GP but failed math by a freaking 7%. WTHHH. Im always close but never close enough, and at closer inspection, its all thanks to careless mistakes! HMPHHH. youve got to be kidding me. I think im hanging out too much with Lydia! HAHAHA. Kidding ahhh, Lydia Mak. Im jsut gonna do better and keep practicing, ive still not lost faith. Prelim 1 will be different, for all of us.

I love Mr chow. He is so cool and funny. I love that he picks on Plavin Singh. Okay, sometimes its a little over the line, but hey, all in the name of fun right? Palvin seems to enjoy him too, well, at least i think so. Remember, violent love, safa?!
We've not gotten back Lit and History. I think we'll get lit by monday but not sure about history, since there is this moderation thing? OMGOOOSH. we were suppose to get it on Friday larh. SPOILER.

In other news, Castro was bottom 3. SERVES HIM RIGHT. He obviously doesnt really care thats why he is not putting in the amount of effort that he is so capable of. Mediocre songs, bad strumming, the lists goes on! I'd rather be a david cook fan at this rate! SO PLEASE CASTRO, have a good Top 9(??) week please, for your fans like myself. Get out of that safety zone and do something more lively instead of mellow songs! PLEASEEEE! *on knees*

SIGHHHHH.

OH, road run was massively a great memory. Not only did the boys not come, but it was a great run, and taurus was wonderful in spirit! B-E-A-T, Beat them (echo)/ B-U-S-T Bust them/ Beat them, bust them/ Thats out custom/ Come on Taurus, Readjust them! WOOOHOOOOOO. I dont think we'll win the marathon but we have a good chance of winning the cheerleading competition, man. Safa and I had great fun screaming and making "sirens"! HAHAHAH. i was laughing till i teared in the LT. Everybody was looking at Safa! OH MYYYY. It was so amusing! I got a towel, so thats a good sign, but i didnt record timing, so haha, aza is soooo gonna kill me, come wednesday. Running the distance was so much beter than on the track! It didnt seem as never-ending. I have to congratulate Caroline for coming in first too. She's crazy, that girl. I wasnt even half way, and guess what? She was already on her way back! HAHAHA. We were all cheering her on. I wanna say WOOHOOO to Nic too for running her best! And to my girls who were competitive runners... you guys did soooo awesome for taurus! YAY-ness! Im still all high from yesterday, that i slept so soundly last night. I couldnt even wake up at 5 to study. Yeah, so im slogging it out tonight with revision and homework i guess.

Well, lets just say, i cant wait for Sports evening. the floodlights, the running, the cheering, the dance... that just spells great evening. Im starting to think, this year might not jsut be bad all around. Maybe, i will have memorable memories other than studying. Like playig UNO at the cafe and laughing at Nic for having to pick up what seems like 7483027293057273 cards! HAHAHA. Nicole, you rock! <3

Well, im done saying what i need to say. dont think i'll be coming online again. maybe tmr to continue with my other essays. SIGHHHHH.

Come on Taurus, readjust them!

Friday, March 28, 2008

half-hearted`

it seems like ive sooo much to say. but nothing is really on my mind. The week has been soooo up-and-down-ssyyy, its a little weird. And to cap it off, im here watching Jonas Brothers videos. My favourite will have to be Nick Joe.

Oh sigh. i just dont feel like blogging. i should stop forcing myself to do so.

See ya!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

in the best way that i can

i need more up to date pictures man. I visited my photobuclet account and realised that the pictures were from England. SO I NEED MORE PICSSSS WITH MY FRIENDSSS. Hmm.. maybe the road run this friday?

OMG. talking about the road run.. ive been binge-ing like mad. Brownies, chicken, cheese balls, donuts you name it, i probably could have eaten it. SIGHHH. And today is 23rd march, that means the floorball comeptition is like next week.. *whispers: i need and excuse to get my ass out of there* Okay, stop being a coward, syuhh.

Anyhows, the much awaited SUNDAY is here.

1) GRAND SLAM SUNDAY is here. Man U VS Liverpool (1-2 or 1-0). Chelsea VS Arsenal (2-0). those are my predictions. Hey man, its a fight till the end! I cant believe theres only eight more matches before one of the 4 teams are crowned BPL champions.. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT BPL ON WEEKENDSSS?? Oh my. oh my.

2) Tmr is Monday! WOOOHOOOO. For some reason, i miss it. Maybe its the presence of my friends i miss. I just know i wont feel the same way when i stepp into school! Dont you just hate that feeling. LIKEEE.. omyyyygoddd. I have PE tmr.

3) Im jsut glad its sunday. For some reason, this week, sunday feels goood. No going out just chilling out. And im not studying.. yet. I met to do Econs yest.. but didnt quite get down to it. HAHAH. Hmmm.. maybe today? I doubt it but who knows? I might surprise myself.

Okay, gotta ciowxedd.. Dirty jobs is starting soon.

Did i mention? I love sunday, 23 march 2008?

Funny reviews and PUH-LEEZE! Castro still rocls!

I was at the mtv overdrive website, and i saw reviews from the American Idol top 11 show. IT WAS SOOOO AMUSING, the reviews! Check it out.

Jason Castro
What He Sang: "Michelle"
What He Should Have Sung: "I Will"
Verdict: Très tragic! (translated: VERY tragic)

Jason followed up his awkward, hushed "If I Fell" with an awkward, hushed "Michelle." So what if he can't sing very well? He's so dreamy! Even Simon was charmed by the dread-head's goofy demeanor. But get past the hair, the smile and the sloppy French, and all that's left was a vocalist who was consistently ahead of the music, who couldn't hold onto any note for more than three seconds and who looked uncomfortable dancing onstage. Do we really need another Ashlee Simpson? (At least we know Jason doesn't lip-synch.)

Kristy Lee Cook
What She Sang: "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away"
What She Should Have Sung: "Flying"
Verdict: Help!

After last week's howler, I was hoping creepy animal-lover Kristy would pick "Flying" — a.k.a. the only instrumental the Beatles ever put on an album. But alas, we were stuck with "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away," a song she chose based on the title alone. (If that was her only criteria, how did she not end up with "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?") Exceeding last week's cacophony, Kristy elevated her performance to downright blasphemy, giving John Lennon's brilliant song a hideous Yanni-like arrangement. She saved face with a huge note at the end, but then immediately ruined it by saying to Simon, "I can blow you out of your socks," when a normal English-speaker would say, "blow your socks off." Big difference there, Dr. Doolittle.

Amanda Overmyer
What She Sang: "Back in the U.S.S.R."
What She Should Have Sung: "With a Little Help From My Friends" (Joe Cocker arrangement)
Verdict: Red scare

I'm officially over Overmyer. Amanda took Paul McCartney's tribute to the Beach Boys and performed it like she was the Vince Neil in an all-girl Mötley Crüe cover band. The aggressive seizure-inducing strobe lights didn't add anything to her performance either, other than fresh bite marks to wooden spoons across the States. After the judges responded with a shrug, the nurse got all WWE Diva on Simon and barked that she treats each weekly performance like a chance to sell concert tickets. Poor thing doesn't realize that nobody's purchased a ticket to a sleaze-rock hair-metal show in almost 15 years. Right, Bo?

HAHHAHAHAHAHA. i hope you guys got it. if you didnt... okay. As Jessica says DOTSSSSS. Gotta catch UCL magazine now. CIOWXEDD.

oh, shane sheckler... i like.

Friday, March 21, 2008

and ive got to stop smiling cos its starting to hurt...

helloh helloh!

Im bored, and im on a mission. To find a new blog skin. But so far, to no avail. And WHYYYY am i doing so? cos i am bored. nothing to catch on youtube. and ive got a movie to catch actually BUT my bro is getting screamed at for fractions so i'd rather not be below.

Anyways, am chatting with Melissa Maniam, and talking about castro. I was online till 12++ yest and saught a vid of his younger days, with the SHORRRTTT dreads. he looks soooo different. Not as cutee, for one. and another, he looks so small built. BUTTTT, he still looks so goofy. I think i saw a prom pic with his tux and all... yup.. that looked good (he had long dreads then). the vid was sooo funny cos he was a time when he had a band, and wasnt singing yet. So he mocked his lead singer who was like recording. And it looked damn gay.. i kept rewinding to that minute, cos it was hilarious. and he was trying to stifle that laughter cos his lead singer was recording so didnt want to disrupt. HAHAHAAHAHAH. Im gleeing... can you just imagine me and my laughter. Okay, and i heard some of his own songs, and he sings alot of mellow songs... maybe, i'll put it some day (heheh.. one of the title of his songs).

OKAY, ENOUGH ABOUT JASON CASTRO ALREADDDDYYY, syuhhh.

Im so bored. something wrong with dad. like really wrong. but i dunno what. maybe its teaching my brother fractions? God knows.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Firefly, could you shine your light?

I jsut came back from religious class in which we celebrated Maulud Nabi. And i realise that ive been quite happy lately, but i dont think i was peaceful. Theres a great difference isnt there? to be at peace with your life, with God.

She preached about what we have now is just temporary. Our life, doesnt even belong to us forever, because one day, God will take back what He created. All these is TEMPORARY. Doesnt that send shivers down your spine? It was not the first time for me, hearing that but everytime i do hear it, i makes me humble, and at awe of God's creation. In the end, its between you and God.

ANYHOOO, on a lighter note, exams have ended, at least for March. I dont know if i should be happy or concerned. Honestly, the papers were manageable, but i doubt i did well. After this will be PTM. Oh the dread, seriously.

Im suppose to hang out with ML tmr. Read her blog for the full story. LOL. I love my babe cos she did something really awesome for me. I love you, babe, more than *****. No offence dude! HAHAHAH.

I saw HIMMMM today. Just oozeddd with confidence larh. so envious can. HURH.

OHOHOH, JASON CASTRO is still in the running. WOOOOHHHOOOOOO. I tell you, that charming face and almost-perfect smile... my heart goes ---. I dont have to put it into words... you guys will be too gross out. HAHAH.

Its Good Friday tmr. A break! GREAT! I jsut wanna chill, with somebody or by myself, thats fiine. Just wanna chill. BADLY. I better stop blogging. Im running out of things to do online. SIGHHHH. maybe i'll play Solitaire. *whispers: no-lifer!*

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Should just keep chasing Pavements?

I just wanted to blog cos im OH-SO-GLAD that the block tests are almost over. Just one more H1 paper and im off... well, at least until the results. SIGGHHH.. i dont feel confident at all of my results. Somehow i wished i'd study harder, and not cram everything like at the last minute! So, i believe i could have done better. =( But, lets jsut see how it turns out. Im looking out for good songs... any recommendations? Just tag. im dying without good songs. Well, its so cold right now. I loved spending time with the girls today after lunch. nic couldnt join us cos of Chem test the next day and Siew En for Bio test after Econs. I have one day of rest, i shall spend my hours wisely! HEEEEHHH. =D

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I look at all the lonely people

i loovveeee john lennon and paul mccartney week! I REALLY DO. I have sooo much more appreciation for the beatles! Oh, thank you Jason Castro and David cook for wonderful renditions. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing you too! For once, cute David Archuleta chokedd.. poor dear, was so nervous he forgot his lines, but Castro did a slightly above average job with "If i fell" and Cook did an AWESOMEEEE job with "Eleanor Rigby" (my title). I swear i was smiling soooo hard during Castro's performance... he is so charming. SIGHHHH. I cannot wait to see him again next week. Ive started d/ling some beatles, and castro songs. WEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Anyway, i did a study schedule today. I really should do that more often. SIGHHH. math is on Monday, and i really am not prepared. I feel like Hist is gonna be okay, and i have a feeling mkt struct is gonna be a Case study, so i better read up! =D Anyway, im intending to clock pass midnight tmr since i heard parents sayng about movies tmr. I really want to watch Leap Years and Horton , OHOHOH, Spiderwick somethg. Theres that guy from chocolate factory. He has a bright future man... lets hope he does better than Lindsay.

Liverpool got a win at San Siro! WOOHHHOOO. Another torres goal. We are the fisrt team to beat them cos theyve been unbeaten 19 matches man. LIKEEEE WOOOOOWWW.

Anyhows, gonna d/l song and get to work. I really, tremendously, extremely, absolutely despise math. I cant do so many Qs and im gonna die when they give me the thinking Qs man... I can jsut imagine. GOODNESSSS.

p.s: sorry for the overload picstures of Jason Castro. I really really fancy him. but i think you get the point.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Imagine

i truly appreciate John Lennon's song "Imagine". Its so beautifully wirtten. And i heard David Archuleta sing it, and he did an o-kayy job with it. I think the song truly resembles the "what ifs" in life. And im not going to be a skeptic and say thats its impossible for "the world (to) be as one". If travelling from country to country is already made possible, there souldnt be a reason for us not to help each other build up and be stronger. Sure its easier said than done. To share and not exploit. to help sincerely and not have those fine prints. I wonder, how everyone of us can make it possible? We shouldnt jsut be trying to save the Earth from climate change but also from war and pain. Wow. Imagine if the world could really do that.

I just chatted from ahmad, and i was kinda glad he was online. I was like "Youre back!" and he was like " Im not even half way through my journey!" and i was like "huh?" and he was like " Im in Rome!".

*dies and wakes up again*

OMGOSSSHHHH. Rome, as in Italy rome, as in collesuem Rome, as in GLADIATORSSSS?! HAHAHA. Then came the rush of questions and the i-cant-believe-youre-torturing-me-with these-details tone. HAHA. HE WENT TO NOU CAMP! AS IN BARCELONA's HOME FIELD!!!! I told him to tell me the price of the whole trip and start saving now. Maybe got chance to go with ML, if she isnt preoccupied with SOMEBODY. Worse come to worst, join Amazing race. HAHAH.

Well, as you can see, my mood has been lifted, a little. Was at consultation with Mr Pang and Safa then went for lunch with Mel and nic Tan and met Ng Mun Ling, my babe. And was off home.

Watched Real superhumans on discovery channel. I could not resist! It was a pretty cool show cos they was jsut plain not-so-ordinary humans. Withsatnd cold, draw tho he was born blind and... oh, see colours from music. SERIOUSLY. They were talking about how we humans have our own ability to create an evolution, by using the genes of these superhumans to be implanted to ordinary humans. Okay, i think firstly that what you have is god's gift, you either got it or dont got it. then, why try to create evolution when you can jsut let it happen naturally, i mean, there are so little surprises in life anymore. Just recently we read an excerpt on how parents can soon genetically change their children and remove unwanted characteristics such as being homosexuals. But, isnt that the art of being unique? Why should we have the power to do that when God created us? Okay, maybe this a totally religious point of view, but sure, if we can remove bad genes like the likeliness to have heart diseases, i would think thats pretty good, but removing what makes you unique, and having control, the colour of the eyes, hair and all, isnt that too much? The search of perfection cant go too far..

Anyway, did i mention, i want Jason Castro to win American idol? *scrolls up* Okay, i have not. SO, lets do that again. I WANT JASON CASTRO TO WIN AMERICAN IDOL 7. What can i say? He has dreadlocks. He can sing. He has nice eyes. He has this really good complexion that will put most girls to shame. Hes smart, studying in construction science major in texas (Something) University, he mumbled that bit. He has that very shy but confident look. AND DID I MENTION, he is oh-so hilarious!

HEY HEY, keep a lookout on Jason Castro! and those amricans better vote for him week in an out till he wins it.

CIOWXEDDD.

everybody's happy. Maybe i should try to be too.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Its Never too late.

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

Im feeling down. Im still over getting an E for Malay. Whoever said that college students are perfect?? This is a dreadful stigma to live with. The labels of being academically inclined, the pressure to get into NUS, i truly hated every thing about yesterday. Part of me wished i could jsut erase it from my memory, and forget it ever happened, but then, i think about WHY God even let this happen to me, and i realised, that maybe this was a wake up call. A really tough smack to my face to just make me realise, that even though i tot i did okay enough to get a C but ended up with an E, what you think is not a fact.

I felt such great pain upon receiving my results and my dad's words jsut rang like some really spoilt alarm "Youre a quitter". I jsut cried, even in front of Mr Mahmood. All i thought to myself, was "What am i going to tell dad??". It was so hard, and jsut recalling the moment right now, brings tears to my eyes. I cried and i felt so overwhelmed with fear and shock. An E? What the hell am i going to do with an E?? Lets jsut say, i was having the worse crying stint after an exam.

I had my friends with me. ML came down from the 3rd storey to comfort me, and i thank her for it. All my friends were jsut telling me that MT is not important for my university admission, and i knew that. I knew it and thats why i said "What the hell is MT result?" the day before the release, and this definately has taught me to watch my mouth. They were all great comforts, but i jsut wanted to cry for awhile. I had the right to feel lousy at the disgraceful result (no offence to those who got E). Even Mr Mahmood helped my dad understand by talking to him. Im so grateful. Nevertheless, i cried cos i jsut felt so disappointed at myself. So frustrated even.

I dont want to feel this way next year, when im receiving the results that matter. I want to feel that ray of hope of getting into NUS and doing the course I WANT. I dont want to be at risk, i want to be secured. I want to be able to get out of the examination after every exam and feel i did my best, and confident. Im just so afraid for PW result now, I dont know what i'd do if i dont get the grade i tried so hard to work for. Well, i need to keep my head focussed on March Block tests first, and worry about PW when the time comes, that is, about one month later??

I thought about this on the bus ride home, i only have to work hard and just put my heart and soul into this one year. Its the only year that matters right now. If i dont get through successfully, there are no other years to think about. Its here and now. so might else well give it my ALL and do well. Stop questioning myself, and jsut do it. After all, this is the year i can define myself and my career options. I chose college cos i wanted more time to experience what i love and decide what i truly love and the prospect of doing what i love. and right now, i ahve a certain idea, but this is the year that will determine if i get to do what i want.

As three days grace sings, "Now and again we try/To just stay alive/Maybe we'll turn it around/'Cause it's not too late/It's never too late".

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Cause our hearts are locked forever~

i got my Simple Plan CD. YEYYYY. I thought, like, whats the difference if i buy it later or now.. i'll still be spending my money! Right now, my favourite song would be Save You, written for Pierre's brother. But the title of my blog entry today is from "Take My Hand", I cant critic the album yet cos ive not heard it properly yet cos my taking care of my youngest brother too so... Maybe later okay??

Anyhoooo, i failed my math test. SIGHHHH. Let's just say, i hope March Block Test will at least get me and E?? Pretty please. We passed Mr Yip the tarts and cupcake today! HAHAHAHA. He was so sweet and wanted to share it wqith us, but its not enough larhhhhh!

Anyway, our future GP teacher, Mr Paul Chau(??) is really cool too. He is soooo funny! Im glad he is our teacher. Lets hope he can handle the class.

Well, ciowxedd! Gotta study and all. Histiry SEA test tmr. Did i mention i love Burma's history and SARIT! LOL.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

To Replace "hate" with "fate".

That is taken from my brother's new song. i have no idea the title. HAHA. Well, he has written his new songs, and i think its actually really good. It had the "read between the lines" message. He has talent, i hope he gets to record it and then, publicise it on his Myspace cos i think, he has done a pretty good job so far. All the best to him!

Anyway, a new maid has arrived on Friday. Talk about efficiency in those agencies. Her name is siti, and she looks super young. SIGHHH. Shes alright i guess, lets see how it goes as weeks pass. Mum is getting a little stressed out about having to do most things to guide her and all, and with Qimi crying all over, its gets pretty frustrating for her. I hope this gets better soon.

Yesterday, i barely did anything you can call revision! I jsut had absolutely NO MOOD to study. I cant believe it, but GP block test, is this week. SIGHHH. Then its one week of break before all the other tests. I cannot believe, 10 weeks of school have passed by sooo fast! I still remember Mrs Koh counting down the weeks for us "Week 5 already ahh.. 5 more weeks till your block tests!" And i was thinking, well, thats a lot of time, but now that has shrunk to 2 weeks, and im scared to my bones. Better get chopping today, and i have the lond due DOM essay still. That will surely kill me but im gonna get it done before i watch the Bolton match. =D

Whispers: YESSSS.. FOOTBOOOL!

I miss blogging. SIGHHHH. Hmm.. What else happened? I ran 8 rounds at a horrible timing. HEHEEH. Shall imprve but there is seriously no way im going to complete it top 50 in the road race man. Thats like mathematically impossible! =X

Well, im going to get down to DOM after reading some blogsss.. I'll write nest week. Oh, and please pray for me that i'll get by week 10. Seriously, good riddance, February!