Theres a reason why i dont have many of my Secondary School friends in my Contact list. First being that its the past. I have this thing about carrying luggages towards the future. Before stepping into college, i knew i wanted to let go of everything in Woodlands Ring. I didnt mean to lose all my friends then, but i just wanted a chance to start anew. A brand new place, a brand new start for me? and many would call me a coward for trying to avoid SecSchool days but im not. I love all my classmates from 2e1 and 4e2. All who i managed to laugh with and cry with, i Cherish you in my deepest thoughts forever.

For example, the 1e1 Teachers' Day dance. The class effort. then, the letters we wrote to Mrs Doreen Chong and we even had a postbox. Well, anyone of us could actually stuff our hand into that box and grab someone's letter but still the closeness with Mrs Chong, ive never felt that with any other teacher. Except maybe, Mr Jack Chong (no relation btw) And i remember when he told us he had the early signs of cancer and i cried. I cried cos i didnt want to have my science teacher replaced. I remember our outing at east coast and how me shilah, hanisa, Syaza, and Khairun hanged out like that night could last forever. But we knew, even forever had its end.

then came Sec3, tough year. My good friends were all separated. I was thorwn into 3e2 and was with Amy. Met ML and Nures. And it was the four of us. but, then, the only thing constant is change right? so change was about to happen. Nures had a boyfriend. I grow close to ML. Somehow i made it through Sec3. I think god just guided me to safety. there, i met a guy. whom i dont regret but i definitely wished i had learnt the lesson in a more easier way. Well, that led to Sec4. where i studied. With ML. It was a otugh year, yet fulfilling in every sense. A maths started to make sense. then O levels.

but the fact is, no matter how far you try to run to avoid you past mistakes and how hard you try to let them go, something, someone will bring it back to you.

How come you always find a way to get back to me?

I dont need it, yet im interested in how youve turned out. Not so well, apparently. Youve come so far, and thats not a compliment. I always hoped to lose sight of you, but i know, youre part of my past, and instead of avoiding it, i should just let it all come together. I dont like you, in fact i really really really dont like you. But, your past is there for a reason.

You cant change your past, but you can mould your future.

So, here i am. Im not surprised at your actions. Im way over it. I see you smile, but i know youre not happy for eternally. For i know, your kind of happiness last for a while. and i pity you. I pity you, and i hope you'll find your way back...

...as much as i really really really dont like you.

"Heinrich Maneuver" Interpol


Today my heart swings
Yeah today my heart swings
But I don't want to take your heart
And I don't want a piece of history
No, I don't want to read your thoughts anymore
My god
'Cause today my heart swings
Yeah today my heart swings

How are things on the west coast?
Hear you're moving real fine tonight
You wear those shoes side to side
Ah, strut those shoes
We'll go roaming in the night
Well how are things on the west coast?
Yeah but you're an actress
I don't identify

Let it come
'Cause I've got a chance for a sweet sane life
I said I've got a dance and you'll do just fine
Well I've got a plan with forward in my eyes
Let it come.
Well I've got a chance for a sweet sane life
said I've got a dance
it moves into the night
Well I've got a plan with forward in my eyes

But today my heart swings


*excerpts of the song