you cant blame me if you screwed up.
And i definately wont apologise for that.

This year, its coming to an end.
Ive lost and won.
literally and figuratively. LOL.

Do i have any regrets?
Maybe.
the biggest one right now?
taking Boris as my Teammate.
I didnt realise the stakes i was dealing with.
Our friendship, my approach, hes attitude, it all doesnt CLICK.
But i didnt foresee that.

And i will admit, i miss boris as a a friend.
And i do regret the way i dealt with him.
but i only acted the way i thought was best at the moment and for the team.
It wasnt to screw your chances for promotion, it wasnt to get cursed at and it wasnt even to get even on you for all youve done.
It was simply for the Team.
And im sorry if you didnt see it that way.

I miss how we could talk about music, football and school.
I miss how i could laugh and be myself around you.

I jsut dont feel you know what exactly my position is now that we are in IJ100 together.
I dont ask for your feelings back, youre a guy. Your species hide feelings better than Chameleons with their camouflage mechanism.

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It all doesnt matter now. 5 more days, and its over.
You dont have to say a single word to me after that.
And i wouldnt mind.
Im through with being rude at. Im through with complaining. Im thorugh with ebing the witch.

I wanna be a nice girl without deadlines to catch and duties to fulfil.
I want not to be one bugging ppl with sms-ed and calls and about slides and Parts.
I want to be able to sleep at 10 and wake up without the drag of school.
I want to smile when i look at Zern and Boris.

I jsut want PW to end.
As much as it was nice to bond with Pei bao and Nicole.
I want to wash my hands clean of Boris and Zern.
Maybe start anew with them?
Maybe, if they give me chance.
Im not only a leader of IJ100, you know.
Im only human.