I just wanna keep saying that to myself.
And dont you try to stop me.
=(

I dunno.
Im getting my math paper tmr.
How horrid.
Dont ask me why im typing in such short sentences. I feel like being simple.
Boo hoo!

today, i was in front of the lockers, with Safa.
And we were having a ball talking about our favourite movies.
That girl is just so easy to talk too, you know.
We are like, fasting month buddies.
I just hope we'll be good close friends even after fasting month ends and its ending like in 3 days.
Hmm.. anyway, we were talking and Ms Ng Kin Yee came around.
omgosh
We both like totally avoided her instead of our usual chatter =(
I covered by face with my blue sweater
and safa had her head on the table.
Gosh, i cant hide from my paper tmr!
I have to face it.
and im terribly scared.
I guess, im just scared i'll cry cos ive been through like months without crying and crying now, just seems a little too late. But, it just all doesnt seem fair since i worked so hard for it.
Yes, i worked hard for it
Cry me a river.

I just hope i survive the heartache... and headache.
I hope God gives me strength and prepares me for it.
I dont know how im going to do.
I feel like im in denial.

Im just trying to be positive.
SIGHHHHHH.

Anyway, school was okay. I said no to PW. I feel so bad. But im just too tired for PW, you know. It jsut sucks. Like doing Pw for Civics and Lunch? OMG. I must be crazy. I feel bad for dumping PB to do it tho. But im going to help tonight. Promise. =) I meean, its our project.

well, i just watched 3 eppys of Laguna Beach Season 3. I think Tessa's really pretty and I seriously think Chase is great. LOL. They look oh-so-good together. I guess, a rship really cant work if the other hearts not innit right? Or like hes always busy. Thats sad. But, i guess, Tessa's got a whole lot of other options, looking like that. HAHAH.

I was pretty much emo going home, after being with ML. She boke down from everything. I wanted to be strong for her, like i tried to comfort her and make her smile and i had my arms on her shoulder. she kept saying she was fine. But, i dunno. I felt the heat she was feeling too.

the expectations
the suspense.
the unpredictability.
the options.
You feel like you have the ball in your court simply bcos you make the choice,
but really,
you just choose whats in front of you.
and sometimes, thats NOT enough.

Not enough for myself.
Not enough for you.
Not enough for your/mine parents.
Not enough.

After all,
We are very greedy people.

I could retain,
I dont feel like thats an option,
cos I DONT WANT TO RETAIN
but what if i dont have the choice.
what if thats atually the best choice
thinking long-term, maybe.

What if tomorrow doesnt turn out a good day?
What if... ML leaves me in college?

What if What if What if What if What if.

-
-
-

What if im not okay, and this is all a fascade?
I cant do this anymore. Im going off. This thoughts are killing me.

See you with my math results tmr, if i say anything at all.