The Believer; A Dreamer.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

thorughout the year

Im really bored, and ive not been hungry since i last had caramel frappucino yesterday. dont ask me why, i could barely finish my chicken rice when i got home, and i had a few honeydews. after that, i didnt feel hungry at all. This morning, i jsut had a munchy donut. thats all. God, whats happening to my diet? Well, since im not hungry and im superrrr bored, ive tried to read my past entries.

HEre are some excerpts from my previous blog entry.

"let me just tell you what we came up with. arm wrestling this one mr mahmood had the idea that boris would be the ermm.. chosen competitor. hah. and you know he shakes a lot right.. and he has this nervosa thingy... so he said " eh cher, dont joke lehh.. you sure lose a lot of money wan.. like that" ahhah. all of us were laughing larh.. oh, and mud-wrestling there was girl fight too and erm.. some bar cum strip thgy obviously was boris' idea. erm... everyone was like joking around larh.. absolute funny. even mr mahmood. heheh. we have the coolest teacher. but finally, i think we are either doing egg tarts and cream puffs or milo dinosaur. my class is the coolest ah.. let me tell you what they said. so atikah was like " ok. if you guys dont agree will you stop us from doing the fundraiser " then the guys were like " if you are doing it, then we will definately help you. our class not like that one" awwwww. soooo sweet right. see... 0732A rocks."

"no more waiting for you after school. no more surprise hugs from the back. wow. little things. you never miss em till they are goneso, babe, give me more surprise hugs!! wow. wonder who's gonna replace you give me hugs when you're gone... =) ahh.. no hugs will be like your hug, babe. i hope you keep to your v dae plan. i would loove to talk to him. =)"

"Thank you Yi Ying and Atikah for staying up to help me complete the econs project!!! looooove you all. =) SERIOUSLY. and SORRY for troubling y'all larhh... all because of CA grade. Thank you. You have no idea how much i appreciate it."

"i went back from pasting posters all over the school when the boys decided to make me their little lab rat. omgg. hahah. seriously, i was afraid. plus, boris was handling the can. kidding.... so after much of debating and squabbling, and begging and moving and hesitance, i decided to do it. of course, i was still dead afraid that they'd make me look weird. so two guys' hands we on my head. i dont know who, while someone sprayed.. and while i waited with horror. lol. okay. not so badd larhh... "

"i did for a fellow customer this butterfly then, i realised it smudged and i said " oh shit " not intended at all. then, the customer said " eh, why you say oh shit? make me scared only.. what did you do?" haha. then when i lifted off the stencils, yi ying saw it and she said " oh shit ". damn funny ahh... the customer was like "what oh shit? " hahah. we re-did it of course. i never said I was the expert. "

"the crowd form the view "upstairs" hahh. boris said " erm.. looks like 10 000 people larh " and i was like "are you sure? maybe including the innovians ahh " and boris continues " in my dreams " sighh. hahah. but there was a large crowd!!! well, large enough anyway."

"This is atikah in shock because aftr eating soooooooo much.. ur dear dear dhamirah went to get like MORE meat!! hahah. like 4 diff kinds in the plate!! we were all like... WTHH? hahah. we ended up eating it anyway, cos there was a sign that said we will be charged for every 100g tthat is not eaten.. and atikah didnt want to have to pay that! "

"so we made a promise that we wont disintegrate our friendship once new ppl comes into picture.. then i said "no way ah. boris will sure break this promise when a cutee girl comes into the class" then vic laughed. she said " yeahh, but i think there should be more cute guys in IJ." i laughed and said i agreed while eyeing boris daring him to answer back. he smiled and said " yeahh, i think there should be more pretty girls in the school" damn. hahah. while eyeing us! hah. me and vic laughed and all i can say to boris now is WHATEVER. hahah."

"the weather was cloudy and it suddenly started to rain. the normal reaction is to run for shade right? but we were campers with a challenge so we had to withstand it all. it took us abot 10 secs to realise " My god, we have to carry in with this! " it was cold, our hand hurt from tugging and sand was all over us. let me tell you, not comfortable AT ALL. finally we did it, and set it off. then we realised, crapp, the right and left side was build differently!! and when venron (after much persuasion from me saying that its safe and i will help him) got on the drums... wobble wobble. but manage to stabilised. Philip turns to get on behind.. and SPLASH!!! Venron fell head first into the water. Poor thing. hahaha. tho at the moment we were all laughing larh.. ahahha. even me. he was blowing his nose and all after that. sorry venron. =p "

"it was fun cos we wer all hanging by the side while some was in the boat using buckets to remove the water. then played around with the guys. Kenneth and boris threatened to take of my shoes. like they dare liddat. hah. soaked my hair and then, later got on the boat to help. i actually used my shoe. hahahah. Philip was on board helping too and he asked " eh syuhrah. Lend me your shoe. " hahah. he used my shoe to take the water too. damn strange ah.. "

"I wonder if you know/ how we rule in IJ yo!/ if you mean and you see it then all you have to go/ 32 AAAAA/ yo/ yo yo/ 32 AAAAA /yo/yo yo"

"while kayaking obviously i met my friends. HAHAH. damn funny. all of them had diff reactions when we came close. We were on bumper rides gone wild. FUN. Whenever is see Philip i go " philliiiip! " and he goes " What larh?! " hahah. then Boris " how come i must always see your face arh? can you go away or not? " *splash water* he was only nice when he needed water. bleahhh. then, met his partner, SyafiQah. hopefully i got that correctly spelt. Shes damn chatty arh. Boris was like " SyafiQah damn noisy ah.. Kayaking also want to sing. then Sing Indonesian song somemore! " *class laughs* when i met kenneth " ehh, wheres fahmie? Seriously, wheres fahmie? " wthh. like i would know. im kayaking you gundoo! Raji jsut asked me to ignore. hurh. lamer. XT was quiet. and Sheryl was with Ian. hahaha. that was cutee. The return leg was tougher cos the sea cos chop-ier. Dangerous man. like the tot of capsizing in the middle of the ocean gave me shivers."

"Pump Pump it up/ Pump the 32a spirit up/ Keep Keep Keep it up/ Keep the 32A spirit up/ 32A oooo ahhh/ 32 A oooo ahh/ 32 A ooooo yeah"

"we all bathed then the girls were all finishing up our Lays BBQ when we heard Kenneth downstairs asking us to go down. HAHAH. so we did. Sat together under bunks and passed around Doritos BBQ while TXT ate her Cup Maggi! lol. Boris was like " Lets do our Reflection one by one. " hahah. As if. After talking and joking, time to lights out. said our goodnights then parted."

"TXT shared her ipod with me and so, i have a nice soundtrack on the way. didnt sleep larhh. i listened to Way Back Into Love."

"while lining up Dominic Goh appeared. i think i gave him a funny look cos he said "what? " HAH. i think his appearing act reminding me of ' Pop goes the weasel ' and maybe thats why it made me have a funny face on. LOL. im so damn cheesy. even i cant stand it. then, was thinking of what 2 get... then suddenly, both of us said green apple. Geez. apparently, he got that so i changed my order to Honey Milk tea. =)) hahah. im not a follower. Lol."

"we talked about the class. Sighh. not up to the guys expectation larh.. SAD hor?? hahaha. well, im a happy gurl. the people are just fiine. Wouldnt change a Thing. not a thing. a good mix. 0732A the 2nd would be a good class to come to school to."

"i still remember our last hug in the canteen. we skipped H1, with your encouragement, i did it- finally. hahah. then we hugged twice before me and the Wadsupp gang left for Cwp. i need one more hug. okok. maybe more than that. oh, wth. just bring me back to that moment. sigh. miss you. ( see, i wrote it again! yikes! ) atikah. dont be sadd okayy.. because you makiing me sadd."

"then, Hist lecture. James was caught bathing in the Staff toilet. omg. that guy damn daring ahh.. and apparently, he called Boris during lesson and it rang during Hist lec. hahah. and worse still, even when it rang, boris didnt attempt to shut it off. just ignoring it to show that it want hes phone until Mr Mahmood went " Boris, is it your phone? " hahahahhaha~ weird ahh..."

"you cudnt possibly guess what happened next. James totally embarassed us! LOL. he jumped from the escalator landed on the gorund and Rolled. omg.. he rolled! he missed the auntie by inches and she had such a shock expression! ahhahaha. Boris and phillip were laughing til their face went red. and i was in utter embarassment. i saw all the uncles coming out of their shops looking and shaking their heads. some were smiling tho' probably wishing they could do that too. hahaha. "

"anyway, today ate at long john with my friends. the guys in the class loves picking on us gurls larhh.. like

im the nerd and the loserpool. "loserpool, loserpool." *shows sign while flashing it into my face*
Victoria is the She-man. "Omg Victoria. One, two three. Victoria is a ----"
Sheryl is the Twit. " One two three. Twit."
Yi ying is Princey. "What would you like to eat your royal Highness?"
LMAO. "

Im tired of picking excerpts. Doesnt all these jsut bring sweet memories back? WhatsUp, Atikah, Yiying, Dhea, and Dhamirah? Before i know it, next year, at this very moment, i'll be sitting for my A-levels. Thus, i want one thing, and one thing only for now.

To just remember the past year, all the ups and downs, and to embrace 2008.

Thats my groundbreaker Shirley Chisholm.
Im so glad to have done a project on Chisholm and her contributions.

In a way, Chisholm has helped hold my team together. I wanted to do justice to Chisholm and her contributions as she was not well celebrated all this while. She was indeed an "unsung hero". so, i gladly stood and presented today, for i believe that jsut like how chisholm spoke for others, i would like to speak for her today. To not discriminate, to always follow your dreams and to believe in yourself. Although it is cliche, it is still a fact. and shirley Chisholm, i hope that in your eyes, we did a good job too. cos, all i ever wanted to do for the team and myself, is a good job. If you were alive, i hope youre satisfied. for i am. Im satified, its all over now. IJ100 is gone with the memory of Chisholm. Till next year in February or march, IJ100 will meet up in anxiety again. But till then, Chisholm, thanks for the memories and the lessons learnt.

Monday, October 29, 2007

You always find a way back here

Theres a reason why i dont have many of my Secondary School friends in my Contact list. First being that its the past. I have this thing about carrying luggages towards the future. Before stepping into college, i knew i wanted to let go of everything in Woodlands Ring. I didnt mean to lose all my friends then, but i just wanted a chance to start anew. A brand new place, a brand new start for me? and many would call me a coward for trying to avoid SecSchool days but im not. I love all my classmates from 2e1 and 4e2. All who i managed to laugh with and cry with, i Cherish you in my deepest thoughts forever.

For example, the 1e1 Teachers' Day dance. The class effort. then, the letters we wrote to Mrs Doreen Chong and we even had a postbox. Well, anyone of us could actually stuff our hand into that box and grab someone's letter but still the closeness with Mrs Chong, ive never felt that with any other teacher. Except maybe, Mr Jack Chong (no relation btw) And i remember when he told us he had the early signs of cancer and i cried. I cried cos i didnt want to have my science teacher replaced. I remember our outing at east coast and how me shilah, hanisa, Syaza, and Khairun hanged out like that night could last forever. But we knew, even forever had its end.

then came Sec3, tough year. My good friends were all separated. I was thorwn into 3e2 and was with Amy. Met ML and Nures. And it was the four of us. but, then, the only thing constant is change right? so change was about to happen. Nures had a boyfriend. I grow close to ML. Somehow i made it through Sec3. I think god just guided me to safety. there, i met a guy. whom i dont regret but i definitely wished i had learnt the lesson in a more easier way. Well, that led to Sec4. where i studied. With ML. It was a otugh year, yet fulfilling in every sense. A maths started to make sense. then O levels.

but the fact is, no matter how far you try to run to avoid you past mistakes and how hard you try to let them go, something, someone will bring it back to you.

How come you always find a way to get back to me?

I dont need it, yet im interested in how youve turned out. Not so well, apparently. Youve come so far, and thats not a compliment. I always hoped to lose sight of you, but i know, youre part of my past, and instead of avoiding it, i should just let it all come together. I dont like you, in fact i really really really dont like you. But, your past is there for a reason.

You cant change your past, but you can mould your future.

So, here i am. Im not surprised at your actions. Im way over it. I see you smile, but i know youre not happy for eternally. For i know, your kind of happiness last for a while. and i pity you. I pity you, and i hope you'll find your way back...

...as much as i really really really dont like you.

"Heinrich Maneuver" Interpol

Today my heart swings
Yeah today my heart swings
But I don't want to take your heart
And I don't want a piece of history
No, I don't want to read your thoughts anymore
My god
'Cause today my heart swings
Yeah today my heart swings

How are things on the west coast?
Hear you're moving real fine tonight
You wear those shoes side to side
Ah, strut those shoes
We'll go roaming in the night
Well how are things on the west coast?
Yeah but you're an actress
I don't identify

Let it come
'Cause I've got a chance for a sweet sane life
I said I've got a dance and you'll do just fine
Well I've got a plan with forward in my eyes
Let it come.
Well I've got a chance for a sweet sane life
said I've got a dance
it moves into the night
Well I've got a plan with forward in my eyes

But today my heart swings

*excerpts of the song

Saturday, October 27, 2007

To lift the spirit

I guess today was essential to just catch up with everyone whom i loved and have not been spending time with. It was nice and uplifting?? HAHA. i enjoyed it and i hope whoever who came enjoyed yourselves too? I love you guys for making the time to come. I really appreciate it, after all thats what invitations are for =)

Anyway, here are some pictures.

First My secondary school friends came by. Ermmm.. namely, Syazwani, Amirah, NURES, Faroq, Amir, Khairul, Asyiq, Syafiq, and a girl. It was a little uncomfortable at first due to the small place they had to squeeze into as seen in the picture. HAHA. but they were all nice people so they said it was okay. LOL. and also because of other circumstances. Its a wonder how you manage to hold your face up and walk into my house. I wished i ddint have to see you but nvm, due to the whole festive mood, i tolerate your presence. hurrrrr.

But the best part of seeing the clique was NURES, she teared up when she saw me and when she was about to leave. =( i miss you too, nuresah. I wish we could catch up really but sighhh, no matter what, it was sooooo nice to see you.

Oh, and nice to see Khairul's Cheery face too. That guy can be egoistic and friendly at different times, but nevertheless, nice to see someone who you were once good friends with.

The next person to come was Mun Ling after much persuasion that not all my classmates were here. She was afraid of feeling odd but really none were here. And XT is always late. HAHAH. So, she finally came.

And we had a talk, a much needed one, since we havent seen each other's existence for one whole week. =( We caught up and i think i bummed her out a little when i talked about school and *******. im sorry dear. Its jsut that its on my mind you know. And i always speak whats on my mind. But nevertheless, it was nice to talk to her and see her again. She wanted to wait for XT to confirm the news she heard but XT was lost at Woodlands Checkpoint. HAHHAA. So, she went off to meet Marcus for light food before service. Thanks ML for coming, i needed it. I needed promises fulfilled and you fulfilled yours. May the best happen for us. <33

So, as ive said earlier, XT and Sher took the wrong 912E and ended up at woodlands checkpoint. HAHA. even after i said bus 912. SIGHHH. LOL. =D So while waitng for their arrival, i was up in my room when my dad called me and TA-DAAAAAA. I saw some skinny jeans outside my house, and XT loud voice "Helloh syuhrah!" HAHAH.

they came in and greeted my dad whom they tot was my uncle. AHAH. That's a compliment, dad. and they were genuinely shock. HAH. Followed them to gat food and we talked then shifted to the sofa. And there we talked again. and i think they stayed for about over an hour and then we took a pic with my littlest sibling.

To XT and Sher, im so sorry you guys had trouble going to my place! HAHA. Sorry for the 7 bicks taxi ride. =( Next time, i shall tell wheres my busstop. Seriously! AHAH. But again, i appreciate y'all coming. It was so nice talking to y'all about... =X OTHERS. HAHAHA.Okayokay. That nerd outfit, you better put it up on your blog, i wanna see the final outcome! HAHAH.

I received a sms Safarina saying she cant make it cos she has 2 more houses to go, so i said nvm cos we were wrapping up anyway. HAH. but yes, good luck for A's this Monday Safa and to all other A-levels MT takers! =) i want a B but i think im going to get a C. Which i dont want to cos my dad is gonna make me retake, and i DONT WANT TO WASTE J2 DOING MALAY. That would be horrid. So B it is. My mind's all set.

I got mad at Lydia for a bit cos she didnt reply my sms and my invitation when its always nice to reply to sms-es no matter how trivial it may be. Its the thought. So, i dont see how you expect other people to reply to you if you dont do the same. FYI, even Kannan replied. You could have replied at 8pm, and it would have still been okay. Besides, it couldnt have taken long. You know what, nvm. Lets drop it. I dont need any negativities.

I jsut want to rest now so jsut have a look at the remaining pictures! ENJOY.

Paramore Miracle

We've learned to run from
Anything uncomfortable
We've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know
That inside we're broken
I tried to patch things up again
To calm my tears and kill these fears
But have I told you, have I?

I'm not going
Cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
When it might save you

It's not faith if, if you use your eyes
Oh why
We'll get it right this time (this time)
Let's leave this all behind
Oh why
We'll get it right this time
It's not faith if you're using your eyes
Oh why

I don't want to run from anything uncomfortable
I just want, no
I just need this pain to end right here

*not the full song. EXCERPTS.

Friday, October 26, 2007

The week is finally over

This week could possibly be deemed one of the worse weeks in the entire school year.
Im jsut so worn.
It was gruelling going thorugh the week.
Physically but mostly, mentally and emotionally challenging.

So im all pysched that its the weekend. =) a breather before we take off for Malay A levels on Monday and OP on tuesday. Today, im having open house, and invited the class. but not many seem to be able to make it. Better still, those that say they can, cant. EURGH. Well, nvm. I jsut want to eat and have a little fun. Just relax and settle down the "inner core of my being" as TXT says in her presentation.

So far only TXT and Sher said they'd be coming. ML too but ive not heard from her.

I'll tell you the outcome tmr or somethg.

Im sorry if i dont sound too enthused. im jsut really tired mentally. Its like OP and results are still at the back of my mind.

I'll see you guys.
Ciowz-edd.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

What i wished you knew

you cant blame me if you screwed up.
And i definately wont apologise for that.

This year, its coming to an end.
Ive lost and won.
literally and figuratively. LOL.

Do i have any regrets?
Maybe.
the biggest one right now?
taking Boris as my Teammate.
I didnt realise the stakes i was dealing with.
Our friendship, my approach, hes attitude, it all doesnt CLICK.
But i didnt foresee that.

And i will admit, i miss boris as a a friend.
And i do regret the way i dealt with him.
but i only acted the way i thought was best at the moment and for the team.
It wasnt to screw your chances for promotion, it wasnt to get cursed at and it wasnt even to get even on you for all youve done.
It was simply for the Team.
And im sorry if you didnt see it that way.

I miss how we could talk about music, football and school.
I miss how i could laugh and be myself around you.

I jsut dont feel you know what exactly my position is now that we are in IJ100 together.
I dont ask for your feelings back, youre a guy. Your species hide feelings better than Chameleons with their camouflage mechanism.

-
-
-

It all doesnt matter now. 5 more days, and its over.
You dont have to say a single word to me after that.
And i wouldnt mind.
Im through with being rude at. Im through with complaining. Im thorugh with ebing the witch.

I wanna be a nice girl without deadlines to catch and duties to fulfil.
I want not to be one bugging ppl with sms-ed and calls and about slides and Parts.
I want to be able to sleep at 10 and wake up without the drag of school.
I want to smile when i look at Zern and Boris.

I jsut want PW to end.
As much as it was nice to bond with Pei bao and Nicole.
I want to wash my hands clean of Boris and Zern.
Maybe start anew with them?
Maybe, if they give me chance.
Im not only a leader of IJ100, you know.
Im only human.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I say CAM, you say WHORE.

Just kidding.

Okay, but i did bring dad's digi cam to snap the 2nd Annual Friendship Day with Singapore Sports School. =) HEHEHEH.

How silly of me to forget to take a pic of all my girl Floorballers. I mean, thats just dumb. =X Im still so bumped out that i forgot. SIGHHH. Nvm, next friendly okay??? HAHAH.

Anyway, these are the pics! ENJOY.

some raya picsss

Just to make you smile

And to end it off...

and...

okay guys. its 11.27pm. and im sleepy! ZZZzzzZZZzZz.
Ive PeeDoubleEWW meeting tmr for rehearsal since ours wasnt so good today. =( well, night.

Ciowxedd.
Oh, i odnt know if im watchhing the match. =( We'll see the circumstances.

Monday, October 22, 2007

A good Day

Helloh

I had a surprisingly good day in school today though my llimbs are very tired right now.

Well, XT came up to me today and she was like "I ahve somethg to give you"

And i was like "Okay... What??"

"But you cannot read now *LAUGHSSSS*"

"HAHA. Okay. Then?"

"I keep in your bag. Dont read now okay. Go home then read."

Well, curiosity in this case made me laugh. LOL.

Thank you XT for that wonderful thought and actually going to the entent of making something i will treasure, over your weekend. Hmm.. It was so wonderful and yes, we have drifted but its okay. I mean, we still talk and you know ive got your back right? Forever and Always. Please dont ever mistake my absence as avoiding you or Sher. I loove you guys still. The boys just make it harder for me. Somehow, Whats Up have changed. And i dont feel part of it anymore. Im fine with it, i mean, it was never a real clique right? LOL. I still love WU. Even Bor and Phil and sometimes i do wished we could sit together and just be friends again. Laughing and joking NON STOP. I jsut wished they would treat me nicer, like a friend. Talking to me not at me. Its different now. But you and I are still the same okay. Oh yeah, we have yet to celebrate Sher's bdae jsut us girls! Note to self: Celebrate Sher's bdae just GIRLS allowed soon. And i hope to reply you with a cute card too soon, but dont wait for it. LOL. I love you TXT. =D

Well, i still got mad at Boris afetr that cos he didnt do hes script. That smart-aleck. Kept on missing out important points, a wonder that you got EE. HURH. Im being evil but still... its boris. Im prejudice. just kidding...

After that, we had Malay, that was okay too. HAHAH. I shared the classroom with Hamza. If i told Bor and TH that, they will surely laugh. HEHEHEH.

Also, no PeeDoubleEWWW meeting. how refreshing. Instead hanged out with LydiaMak and Safarina in the canteen while waiting for Floorball training to start. WE helped each other with the presentation and all. It was okay =)

Well, its been forever since i last attended Floorball training, 1month ++ to be exact. so, i was very nervous and afraid of this training. I mean, helloh? Im like FATTT and so not fit! HAHA. But i decided to go cos theres SSS match this weds and if they put me and im panting like a dog, im so screwedd. So with Lydia's persuasion, i went. =D Met up with Lela, and went for FB. And i dont regret it. Lydia would be so proud of me. It was okay larh training. 10 rounds around Futsal, and one round at the end of training. And the match with the boys was a bonus. I tell you the boys team is good. They can do all kind of tricks with the ball and stick. I'd seriously just love to watch how they play. Oh, and someone awesomeawesome was also there. HHAHAHAH. Floorball has its pros.

Well, my calf almost strained at the end of the day. Thankfully i managed to do the warm down before anything serious happened. =)

Oh, then i went home with Vanessa. That was nice talking to her and all. and now, im off to do PeeDoubleEWWW. SIGHHH.

The presentation was okay today. Okay only. By Weds, we have to be almost PERFECT. MUSTMUSTMUST. And the boys will give their best, please. LOL.

Well, i love TXT and Floorball. wish the Innova Team all the best for our Match this weds. HEH.

Ciowxeddd people.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
And I know that I should let go,
But I can't.
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,
Everytime that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Ordinary

Helloh.

I know now who are my friends and who are the pretenders.

You call us the backstabbers, hypocrites, youre doing the exact same thing, dude.
You talk behind my back of what you think of me, im not gonna change how i work, just cos everyone else butt-licks you. Unlike them, i tell you when youve messed up. AND DUDE, youve messed up, and most importantly, youve messed things up with me. Ive said this "Ive long lost him as a friend" and on friday, i truly know i have. And i dont give a shit no more. We dont need friends like these. From now on, strictly business. I stand you and your mess, but dude, im not cleaning them up. DUDE, YOURE CLEANING YOUR OWN MESS. THE TEAM IS DONE COMPROMISING WITH YOU. Hey, nothing personal, right?

Anyway, after doing the placards in school, me, Safarina, asyhura and Raheel went to watch "A Walk To Remember" on youtube on the screen. HAHAHA. that was fun. nic came around later and we left together. Did you know that movie is my 3 favourite movie after Forrest Gump and Armageddon. Yeahhh. its so saddd. *sniff Well, Watch it! =D

We went to CWP planning to get Bubble Teas and Munchy donuts, instead we went to eat at Banquet! HAHA. Asyhura and Raheel had some competition which they didnt even know what they were comepting about? That was silly. HAH. But it was funny. And i think Asyhura won? but then, she lost cos she drank Safa's Milk Tea but then she said its not counted????? Okkkkaaaayy.. ENOUGH. HAHAH. we talked and later went to cold storage. God, Munchy Donuts' line was like filled, like 8585949028365252750587382 people. =X So, we decided to play around instead cos Nic need to get ~~fatty food~~ chips for her bro and herself. LOL. and it was soooo funny right nicole! We were both laughing like crazy retarded people and Raheel and Asyhura were like... "ERRR... we better get away from them." and Raheel was like "HUH? i dont get whats so funny." It was just funny. I would tell you but its a you-will-only-understand-if-you-were-there kind of scenarios. Anyway, Raheel and Asyhura got the awful Pink Yogurt! It was so funny. Raheel obviously has never been to Cold Storage! LOL. Those things are like sour! it was funny seeing them in utter disbelieve. LOL. Raheel was like "but it looked so pretty!"

then, we were outta CWP.

At the interchange, we said our goodbyes. Well, actually not with Nicole. Shes going off to Genting see. So i was like "nicole,hug?" *about to hug when.. POKES NICOLE DEEP HEHEHEHEHEHHEH. She shrieked like a siren. it was so ABnormal. =P I love you, nicole. I miss you already! =(

Oh, i saw someone special at CWP too! He looked soooo good! He was with his mum, i assume. And nicole was like "Ready to meet his mum?" OMGG. Are you kidding? And apparently, Safa heard my mini shrieks. SO EMBARASSING i tell you. But doesnt he look cute???? *controlling emotions

Im cool.

Okay, im sppose to do this pilot test thing but goodness, i cant convert the format! =( Andandand, i feel helpless. I feel funny today, right now. I feel not happy, yet not upset, a little anxious for some reason and yet calm???? WTHHH.

I dunno how i feel about school anymore. Its intensive now and life seems more routine than usual. its like PeeDoubleEWWW, Independent study, Malay then PeeDouble meeting. Its like so routine. And results are going to be out soon. another 11 days? I have to tell my dad soon...

but where do i start?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I really wanted to blog

helloh

After my not-so-happy post yesterday, i feel slightly better now.

I came to school, and i wasnt really feeling my best. i hardly smiled at Mel and Lyd which is totally not my style. then, i hardly talked and Mr Mahmood said i was in my "oblivious mood".

I felt so distant from everyone. so distant. i could hear Palvin, Boris, Philip, Xue ting, laughing, but i couldnt get how they could laugh at such a miserable day? Then, i started wallowing in self-pity. And i started tearing. and i knew better than to cry in front of my classmates so i went off to the toilet.

-
-
-

And there, i brokedown.
I just sat on the toilet floor, and cried.
Overwhelmed, that was how i felt.
I had passed my History, barely, 48.
yet,
I felt overwhelmed with PeeDoubleEWWW and the boys' attitude.

I sms-ed VentheMan.
Said i needed someone.
Of cos you ask what about ML?
She wasnt in school. She seems to find escape quite often nowadays.
dont ask me what i think of it.
anyway, shes not too positive right now too. So, hey, misery loves company.
Ven and I headed to the grandstand,
where i just told him everything on my mind.
I cried so much. It was embarassing a little yet comforting in every other sense.

Would he be the first guy i cried to?
yeahhhh. HAHAH.
Most guys dont know what to do when they see girls cry.
But its simple,
just listen to them.
You dont have to say anything unless you feel obliged or when necessary.
Or else, mostly, all she wants is a listening ear.
And Ven makes for a GREAT listening ear.

So this entry is dedicated to him for being able to calm me down when noone else could. For being frank with me and comforting me. I will never forget what youve done, Venron. And if a day comes when its ever the other way round, i'll be honoured to repay your deed.

I would also like to thank Melissa for being my GRUMP ALERT. thanks for making me realise i wasnt Okay. Safarina, for being there cos you are always a comfort to talk to. thanks for remindng me i frown too much. Palvin, for making me laugh on the way to PE. Thanks dude, tho i still hate you for not picking up my call. Ian, for being frank with me. Kannan and Fahmie for being great sportsman during CaptainsBall since i sucked at it! LOL.

I had an okay day in the end. School can really be horrid, but i guess, my class always redeems itself you know. I have so many people to comfort me and who care for me and i care for them too. So, i know i feel safe among 0732A. Girls or guys. I cant imagine us not promoted together. It will happen. Maybe im one of them left behind...

I'd prefer not to think of it just yet.

Well, its late. I better rest. Tmr is going to be another long day - Day 1 of PW and Malay Intensive, thanks to A Level. BLURGHHHHH.

and they rolled down
uncontrollably
but you were there
and i knew it was fine
to act how i did
thanks for making it seem okay to be myself
thanks for being such a great friend
thanks for making my 16 Oct a much better day
Life has its crossroads,
has its options,
but in that moment,
nothing else mattered
not the tears
not the pain
for it was all
simplified by comfort.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Misery is truly business

its 2.04am.

Im still WR-ING.

i hate BORIS THIO JOO CAI and POH TZE HERN.

there, ive published your names for all to see.

im so tired.

parts of me wants to just CRY

Another part wants to call up the guys and be a bitch

another just doesnt want to go to school

another jsut wnats to run away from PeeDoubleEWWW

how come some people get away with murder?

Did i already say?

i hate BORIS THIO JOO CAI and POH TZE HERN.

my OP slides arent done. My WR cover seems to undone.

Im ciow-ingggz. this sucks. waaaaaayyyy too much. Okay, but the boys sucks more - definately.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Replying a Chain Message

1. The person who tag you is?
Ng Mun Ling AKA My Babe
2. Your relationship with him/her is?
My bitch. Okayokay. My BestFriend ever.
3. Your 5 impressions of him/her?
First impression: So quiet one.. Didnt realise notice her.
Second impresson: EEEEE... Fern gang one! OMGGG
Third impression: Amy-snatcher (almost only!). Oh yeah, this was the baddest impression of her!
Fourth impression: Loveylovely girl who stuck by me thorugh the drama in Secondary School
Her everlasting impression: That shes a wonderful person upside down, left and right. Great to confide to and laugh with. I always know she has my back.
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
Giving advice on Kumar and sticking by me when i lost a good friend.
5. The most memorable words he/she had said to you?
"You always forget that we are not gold, We are are bestfriends"
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
Be in trouble! HAHAH. Okay i could manage, but she has to learn to love soccer for the game not for Fernando Torres! =P
7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?
Oh i answered that! Andand, She has to be more patient and learn to stand her ground.
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
I will cry real bad. Hey, its not nice to lose a bestfriend. It hurts, its worse than losing a boyfriend.
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
That she backstabbed me... lying would hurt too, but i guess thats forgivable.
10.The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is?
Be happy and think positive. I wishes she'd stay in Innova too, but i dont want to press her on it. I'll support whatever decision she makes.
11.Your overall impression of him/her is?
The girl i shall never forget and if i ever have a wedding, She has to be there, or else, the whole congregation will wait. LOL. I love her more than she will know.
12.The characters you hate of yourself are?
Whiny, could be a perfectionist, and temperamental.
13.The most ideal person you want to be is?
Oprah! Oprah Winfrey that is! LOL. Seriosuly, got the bucks rolling in, working with communities around the world, meeting celebrities, speaking her mind. Lovely person and career!
14.Pass this quiz to 10 persons.

1) Caroline! HAHAH. Okayokay, i mean TXT! You better do it, man!
2) Lydia Mak, girl, take some time off PeeDoubleEWWW.
3) Nuresah, cos i think she loves all this S***! LOL
4) Safarina! Drop isketch or whatever creative games and update your blog!
5) Sheryl Goh :)
6) James Goh, and dont ask me why!
7) Syaza, just so to cheer her up cos she seems down lately :(
8) Amy Ling cos its her birthday!
9) Atikah Syarah, cos i wanna read her creative answers
10) Nicole Tan, cos i know she reads but she doesnt have a blog. Girl, Create a blog (eg: tightpants.blogspot.com) and do this entry please!

1. Who is no.6 having relationship with?
Ermm.. i think they just broke up, but still good freinds, so im happy for him!
2.Is no.9 a male or female?
Female, the last time i checked!
3.If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
Err.. i dont think so. I think they'll emo together too much!
4.How about no.8 and 5?
NO! Cos they are both very temperamental! =X
5.What is no.2 studying about?
Everything im studying including PeeDoubleEWWW, something we both cant get enough off!
6.When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
A month ago, on MSN.
7.What kind of music band does no.8 like?
I bet she like GIMME MORE by Britney Spears!
8.Does no.1 has any siblings?
Yupp. A sister!
9.Will you woo no.3?
Woooo-ed. Woo-ing. Will continue to be WOO-ED. OH. But always failes cos she has her own Sweet<3. HUMPHH.
10.How about no.7?
I would if that puts a smile on her face! Syaza, SMILE!
11.Is no.4 single?
YES. Single and Unavalaible as she would say!
12.What's the surname of no.5?
GOH! HAHAH. she shares it with James! =X
13.What's the hobby of no.4?
WOW. tough. Crapping, Hanging out with MASH, shopping and dancing.
14.Do no.5 and 9 get along well?
yup, they do!
15.Where is no.2 studying at?
INNOVA JUNIOR COLLEGE!
16.Talk something casually about no.1?
shes the cherry pie that makes boring days in school rocking funny. And she never fails to be there for me. Thank you XT! LOVE YOU.
17.Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
Never. Cos shes my Bitch. My PinkDot.
18.Where does no.9 live at?
Simei? I thinkkk... OOOOO.
19.What color does no.4 like?
ORANGE! The colour i dont like!
20.Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
I should think so! Maybe veryvery good friends!
21.Does no.7 likes no.2?
They dont even know each other =X But, i think they would cos they are both fun people when they are smiling! =D
22.How do you get to know no.2?
I know her from class. First time, i tot she was the prettiest girl in class. then had a bicker... =X but now, we're buddies! We have more in common than we know!
23.Does no.1 have any pets?
Yeah. SHE LOVES DOGGGGSSSS. she had 2 now she one. I think its name is TUTU. HAHAH.
24.Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
I think she has the confidence that helps her be sexy in her own way. but i think she'd prefer the word SWEEEEETTT.
Well, ciowxed.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

My absence has its reasons

Ive been absent.
You know why from my entry.
i failed math.
hurh

Miss Ng talked to me a little.
She just said
"Oh syuhrah. I know you tried your best, but i couold tell you panicked thirugh the paper"
"Then how now?"
"bank on your other subjects"
"and what if i cant bank on them?"
"then, we'll see. Now you concentrate on PW"
*tears up again*

Ive not told dad. Im still contemplating over it.
I dunno where to start.
I feel so lousy tonight.
i should stop typing like this.

Anyway, school was really bad today. And i mean, BADDDD. We ahd period after period of PeeDoubleEWWWW. and it killed my spirit towards the end. I was giving attitude to my girls and i knew i ahd to stop, but i didnt. i sulked, i complained, i was ebing a BORIS. And believe me, Boris is an ASS.

I dunno. We have to multi task and do OP and WR now. Its really difficult. Sometimes, i feel like it breaks my spirit. And i wished i was irresponsible. I wished i could run away giggling like tribal women like TH and Boris. BUT I CANT. I CANT COS IM A RESPONSIBLE PERSON. AND I WONT FAIL MY TEAM. I wont fail myself yet again.

I cried today. It feels really bad to cry after not trying for a long time. I need to pull through. I need to. For myself, for the team.

This is mentally draining.

Im getting out. Im not a happy person today. I jsut really hope i dont cry again. Im tired of being the rock, boris. I jsut wished you knew that. I wished you didnt hurt the team and Me so much. I wished you could be the Man the team needs you to be, not the coward that avoids PW. i wished you'll quit being an ignorant and step up to play the game on our level now. You always find an escape. Im tired. Tell me why cant i find an escape? Why dont i run away too? Simply because im not a coward, dude. Im not afraid to stick it out. Im not okay dude. You dont know that.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

tmr is going to be a good day

I just wanna keep saying that to myself.
And dont you try to stop me.
=(

I dunno.
Im getting my math paper tmr.
How horrid.
Dont ask me why im typing in such short sentences. I feel like being simple.
Boo hoo!

today, i was in front of the lockers, with Safa.
And we were having a ball talking about our favourite movies.
That girl is just so easy to talk too, you know.
We are like, fasting month buddies.
I just hope we'll be good close friends even after fasting month ends and its ending like in 3 days.
Hmm.. anyway, we were talking and Ms Ng Kin Yee came around.
omgosh
We both like totally avoided her instead of our usual chatter =(
I covered by face with my blue sweater
and safa had her head on the table.
Gosh, i cant hide from my paper tmr!
I have to face it.
and im terribly scared.
I guess, im just scared i'll cry cos ive been through like months without crying and crying now, just seems a little too late. But, it just all doesnt seem fair since i worked so hard for it.
Yes, i worked hard for it
Cry me a river.

I just hope i survive the heartache... and headache.
I hope God gives me strength and prepares me for it.
I dont know how im going to do.
I feel like im in denial.

Im just trying to be positive.
SIGHHHHHH.

Anyway, school was okay. I said no to PW. I feel so bad. But im just too tired for PW, you know. It jsut sucks. Like doing Pw for Civics and Lunch? OMG. I must be crazy. I feel bad for dumping PB to do it tho. But im going to help tonight. Promise. =) I meean, its our project.

well, i just watched 3 eppys of Laguna Beach Season 3. I think Tessa's really pretty and I seriously think Chase is great. LOL. They look oh-so-good together. I guess, a rship really cant work if the other hearts not innit right? Or like hes always busy. Thats sad. But, i guess, Tessa's got a whole lot of other options, looking like that. HAHAH.

I was pretty much emo going home, after being with ML. She boke down from everything. I wanted to be strong for her, like i tried to comfort her and make her smile and i had my arms on her shoulder. she kept saying she was fine. But, i dunno. I felt the heat she was feeling too.

the expectations
the suspense.
the unpredictability.
the options.
You feel like you have the ball in your court simply bcos you make the choice,
but really,
you just choose whats in front of you.
and sometimes, thats NOT enough.

Not enough for myself.
Not enough for you.
Not enough for your/mine parents.
Not enough.

After all,
We are very greedy people.

I could retain,
I dont feel like thats an option,
cos I DONT WANT TO RETAIN
but what if i dont have the choice.
what if thats atually the best choice
thinking long-term, maybe.

What if tomorrow doesnt turn out a good day?
What if... ML leaves me in college?

What if What if What if What if What if.

-
-
-

What if im not okay, and this is all a fascade?
I cant do this anymore. Im going off. This thoughts are killing me.

See you with my math results tmr, if i say anything at all.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Its a Koala NOT a Kangaroo... I GET IT! =P

Y'all are merciless, i tell you!
HAHA.

So, i got Kangaroo and Koala mixed up...
BIGGGG DEALLLL! HAHAH. it was funny tho cos i didnt realise till James brought it up! ROFL. So rediculous. another classic Syuhrah moment. =) But HEYYYY. I know my animalsss okay!

Kangaroo!

Koala Bear

Okayy.. so its settled i know my animals right? LOL.

Well, lets get down to what i did today.

I went to CWP with my mum and my sibs. I went there with an intention to get a bag, cos that was all i needed for Raya to complete my set. HMPHHHH. But i went home without a bag still. so, my mum said that we'll go down again on tues. =(

It sucks okayy.. cant see any bag that strikes me. And my mum and I were looking at Guess bags. I think my mums still considering if i should get it. OHHHHHH... but i dont deserve it!! =X I mean, my Promos results are only going to disappoint. I really dont think getting a Guess bag is a good idea. =( We saw several lovelylovely Guess bags! SIGHHHH. Promos are really bad for the health and Raya mood man.

Well, i got a Deep V-neck cardigan tho. its in shades of grey. =D Im pleased with that buy. Really. And next month, they are releasing this cardigan with a hood. OMG. i tell you its super nice. HAHAH. Okay, im done for.

Anyway, my bro is listening to this song from Story of the Year. OOOOOO.. i miss them so much. Its call Until the Day I Die. the lyrics, are nice until you get to a verse where its quite, GORY. HAHAH.

"Until The Day I Die"

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die too
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

I think the !! used are jsut exaggerations, but the lead singer, really does scream, so they are called SCREAMO too. Hmmm.. breaking fast soon! YEY!

I better ciowxed.

See youuuuu. God, its monday tmr! =((((

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Finally got down to Cleaning up my room

Listening to Madonna: Music.

Well, i start cleaning up my messy room at 2.30pm and i ended at 5.10. That was just how messy my room was! =X Why did i wait so long??? Im a bum, what can i say? I can live with clutter, how horrid is that right? Nobody is gonna want to marry me! HAHAH. After O's, i remember, i only cleaned my room like in December, before i started college? Im a slob. I took off the quotation from my wall, and my trigonometric formulas... SIGHHHH. And i also rearranged my Memorablia section cos all my favourite things and gifts were collecting dust. =( How sad... Well, this are some pics from my cleaning spree. Oh, i didnt find anything i "lost". Maybe i didnt really lose anything this year anyway!

this was Mun Lings birthday present to Me, for my 16th birthday. IT was in this pink box with 5 or 6 ferrero roche. And a verrrryyyyy sweet letter.

Her letter. I read it agian, i started tearing up, cos all the troubles we were going thorugh this year, it was all foreseen in this letter. How it was going to be hard for us to link arms. And yet, we've survived it and we're still bestfriends. I love you, Mun Ling. As you always say, "Cos i know, you and I are forever."

That reads: Soon-to-be Mrs F. Torres. SHAMELESS!!! HAHAH.

Crayons from Sec 1 that looka brand new. only the tips are used. Anyone arts students need it?? I think ive used it like once??

Thats the wrapping paper from Whats Up and note of encouragement from Nicole Tan (the pink card with SYUHRAH spelt on it!)

Thats James Kangaroo from his Australia trip and Amy's birthday present to me in Sec 3. Its a star bracelet and the green heart is written Pink dots. Thats what Amy and I use to call ourselves before Nures and Mun Ling came into the picture. HAHAH. Cheesy name huh?

Who knew i had this book??!?! HAHA. THey have aerobic pics and all. Anyone need it? HAHAH.

That the huge Plastic bag i used. God, if it topples, that will be the end. Now, im too lazy o bring it to the Dustbin! =(

Well, its 6.04pm now. Maybe i'll blog more later! =)

Hey! Its Funeral for A Friend, with Into Oblivion! On the Radio?? how come i never knew!

Gotta Ciowxed.

Friday, October 5, 2007

A friday, and the mood's WRONG

its friday.

and i feel tired.

wthh.

=(

I feel so angry with my brother. ARGH. I refuse to elaborate.

Stupid Inter-house shit. WTHHHH is interhouse at 2.40++pm? I played for 5 mins but my mouth was dry as if ive not drank for 1 month! and whats with the lack of updates that today was interhouse?!?!?!?!? $##%^&*^$#$$%%^. Thank you very much.

Positive, POSITIVE. Well, Taurus won 6-4 agianst Sagi. 0732A girls did well, to there was a lack of planning and all! HAHAH. =P

Negative again. Heard Asyuhra got er results and she was upset over it. =( I think the reality of Promos is finally sinking in. There was like this voice that said "2 H2's and 2 H1's. You dont get that, you will face possibility of RETAINING. And the worse thing: Would i retain if i had the choice? What with all those stories about how some J2s' are struggling with Prelims. Im so worried.

Okay, another positive, we went to Safa's aunt house cos she needed to get her PE shirt. and we met her grandma, aunt and grandad. And the grandma and aunt were making TARTS. I looove tartssssss. =D It was really cool cos my mum doesnt make tarts. so we were allowd to help. YEY. We completed 2 trays, the 4 of us. and guess what we had to do? HAHAH. Dont laugh. We had to make the dough into a small tiny circle and put it nicely onto the top of the pineapple! HAHAH. jsut like that! eh, its not as easy as you think okay! must ensure the circle is not too big, or small. in the centre... blahblahblah. =P

Hm... yeah. i went home with nic TayTan and Siew En. but i walked off with Nic tan more cos we were both before wax ladies (puteri lilin) which means that we couldnt stand the sunn. Apparently, Nic counted how many i said hot and from outside the gate to after crossing the first junction, 3 times! and i was like "3 times ONLY!" HAHAH.

I bought Snapple and coke light. Dont ask me why coke light, i have no idea, it was just something i grabbed. =X Yeah. Because nic wasnt being too helpful She was like " ZERO claories... of something with more calories???" Well, whattdaya think?! HAHAH. Hence, the choice. I dont have weight issues, people! LOL.

Well, i wanna ciowxed. Im not exacly, feeling the whole bogg-moood! =( See you! Gonna go watch NewPort Harbour, California!

LOOOOVVVVEEE!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

And its school again!

Helloh.

I went out today! withhhh... myBabe, Mun Ling. Well, we are both poor planners. One has this thing about going out and the other has this thing about taking the longest time to get ready! =X HAHHAHA.

Anyway, we decided to go to Suntec convention since my mum wanted me to grab some perfume for the... i forgot what you called those! =X Just slipped out of my mind.

Listening to Within Temptations: Stand my ground. Very motivating. Female lead singer and she has powerful lungs. All rocks fans should give them a listen.

Anyway, we walked around Suntec, dropped by Adidas shops, and Nike shops. We wanted to get some similar.. but we couldnt find anything. Then at 4 we headed to CWP - closer to home. And we found this pair of earrings, and its really pretty. but we dcided to look around a little. Dropped by Chamelon, Mini-bits, and decided about Give a Name and finally got handphone keychains with our initials. so hers is an M while mine is a S. Okay, that just sounded wrong. NVM. HAH.

So got KFC meals for my family to break fast since MumDad are off to Msia again. My mum called and i she asked if i wanted anything. =X Im not one to ask for anything, but i really wnated a CLUTCH. =( Been wnating it since last year. So i asked her. and she said we'll go looking for it in Singapore. hopefully this year i will get a CLUTCH.

Anyway, tomorrow school starts. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

And better still, theres PW INTENSIVE. DOUBLE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Well, its till 12.40pm. I told Nicole, if it really sucks, we'll just cam-whore, as usual. HAH. Gonna spend the rest of my night, as best as possible.

OH. i watched "Reverb" just now. Its totally Rad. It was mostly on 30 seconds to Mars. I lovveeeee Jared Leto. HAHAH. He looked so good. =D I think hes married. Okay, love because he can sing/scream well which means, he looks good even when hes face is all scrunched up and mouth wide open and all. HAHH. And i think their songs are mature lyrically. Its good for a band starting out although this is not Leto's first in fornt of the camera's. They played the video "Attack" and i rmb that was the vid that made me a fan of their music. Its refreshing to hear such a good band. SO, bigUPS to 30STM (not official abbrev btw).

What else, OHHHHH. I saw Lionel Messi's Adidas Endorsement. HEH. Gorgeous Argentinian, he is. =D

And SADDD news. PLEASE CRY WITH ME. Liverpool lost to Marseille. I tell you the match has DISASTER platered on it from the beginning to end. You see, teams that work hard.. They will get results. Teams that push on, they will score. And that team was not LIVERPOOL. They were poor in passing. Poor with planning. Poor in synergising and cooperating. IN SHORT... POOR. wait, make that DISAPPOINTINGLY POOR. How can you lose to a team that is #16 in their domestic league? That doesnt make sense. Liverpool disappointed against PORTO and this morning against MARSEILLE. I say, stop rotating. Allow for the team to build up familiarity. Let them bond so that they know how to work, create space and opportunities for their teammates. OH LIVERPOOL, WHAT MESS HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO???

Valencia was unlucky not to have won. But David Villa scored. Ive decided, if Liverpool *touchwood* doesnt make it through the group stages, im all Valencia man. ALL VALENCIA. So Valencia better not fail me! HAHA.

Sigh. Agianst Spurs this weekend. I can only pray that it will go our way. Spurs have team spirit man. What with the support for Jol. God, please get me by this weekend with a cinvincing game agianst SPURS. =(

i better ciowxed.

Wish me the best for tmr!

PW ROCKSSSS. *hit by million stones* OI! I was kidding, people. =(

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Missing something

helloh.

im blogging again. Because that is all i can do now. Im listening to Paramore: When it rains. "why cant you stay just long enough, to explain?"

I read his blog. I dont know WHY, so dont ask me why. Sometimes, i wonder, what i saw in him. Hes still the same person that had me fooled. But i have noone to blame but myself, but that sure as hell doesnt stop me from hating him still right? I read his blog, well, a little bit, but it got too horny for my liking so i got out. =( Ive movedd on. Long ago, and yet.

I feel sad thinking about 6months. How could it all end up so bitter? if i could do it all over again, i would never have loved him. never. i wouldnt have put my heart in front of a forthcoming train wreck.

yeah. You still make me sad. And everytime, someone talks about YOU. All i say is that youre an ass. You will be. Now, and forever. So tell me, Why cant you stay just long enough, to explain? "How could you do it? oh, i never saw it coming." Hey, promises are meant to be broken right? I remember it all vividly. The calls. The laughs. The conversation. The sms. The end.

Im EMOOOOO-ING. SHEEESHHHKEBABSSS.

Maybe i miss having someone to love. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe that reading-your-blog move was just wrong. I know God knows best. I know he'll bring someone along when the time is right for me. He knows me best after all. He knows my fears, my deep longings the way noone does. And i can only pray he'll bring me someone that makes me smile endless in the future. Not someone who would rob me of my smile for 3 months. No... not you. For i know, I will need as much saving as he does. And when he comes, i'll be ready. But now, Im not.

Please dont mistake this for I-need-someone badly okayyz. HAHAH. Im fiine.

Well, im so over you, so whatever dude. =)

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Revamp-edd and Satisfied

YEY YEY YEY YEY

Noticed something different?!?!?
HAHA.
Im satisfied. I woke up at 9 and now its 10.35am. not bad, ntobad.
OHHH YEAHHH. Ive not bathed! =X Sorry people. Too keen on revamping my blog! =D

Well, PROMOS ARE OVER.
I refuse to talk about how the papers were. I mean, i lay it all on Gods hands now. I did my best. I really did. =( Well, lets just see how it all goes when school re-opens. EEEEKKKKZZZZ. For now i have till Sun to chill but i think we gonna have spring cleaning soon! OMGGGGG.

Anyway, yesterday went shopping with my family to Malaysia Angsana. OMG> Their carpark was horrid. It was like ROCKSSS instead if a proper road. Plus, we had a stroller with us. wthh right? Well, yesterday was fun. I got new Raya Shoes! =D okayy, im not too please with my shoes. simply because i always told myself those shoes were horrid but i got them! =X ML's gonna be disappointed. but they look nice, jsut not sure they will look nice after i start walking in them! HAHAH. Well, i got them in black. On hindsight, i should have gotten WHITE! SHEEEESHKEBABS! I wanted to get a clutch too butbut mum got a lil bit flustered towards the end, so didnt want to piss her off further. LOL. Ive not gotten anything to wear tho! SADLY. We getting the family set today, but my individual set is... still labelled the UNKNOWN. I saw a few nice ones there and here in Singapore. TALKTALKTALK but never buy. =( Do all you Muslims realise that we are already in the last 10 days of Ramadhan! HAHAH. Aidilfitri's coming and im excited, tho i think Promos are gonna kill the mood but i run away with my brand new shoes! HAHAH.

Well, i dunno what else to do now. Maybe i'll go to MTVOVERDRIVE and watch videos from the show NewPort Harbour. anyone watched it? BorisThio apparently watched it and he ssys its good. OHHHH. but i must watch Life Of Ryan FIRST! and The Hills. haha! HEll, ive the whole afternoon!

Oh, but i have to clean up my room. Crap! =( hmm.. after 3pm? No idea when im going to bath man. Im such a smelly girl!

Well, ciowxed! AND, leave a msg! Enjoy the holidays guys! <3

Love youuuu.