hello. Last update of the day. HAH.

i just did half of my EoM and realised ive been typing CRAPP. but im too tired to re-do it now. its like 11.30pm. hmmmm... i'll do it tomorrow.

i ate a lot of fatty foods today. 2 pratas and some potato thing. ive been eating very little for the past few days but i think i totally made up for it with the 2 pratas. DAMN. =P well, thats okayyy. did i mention i actually put on weight. arghhhh. yeah as expected cos i was munching throughout the whole of June holidays. Humph. i have got to do somethg about it. hahh. Run with me anybody? shoot larh. that reminds me i have a run on Monday! goodness. i can barely run now. okay. tmr eat healthy, somehow.

well, i jsut chatted with Mun Ling today. i dunno, what to say to that. i guess, i just dont quite know her anymore. after weeks(??) of not spending time together... its like we've become almost strangers. She apparently forgot about my event too and hanged out with James, abel and Shunfu instead. errr... i dunno. PW is a good distraction. i did say i'd find a distraction. I talked about it to Venron too the night before. Maybe, its about time? once again, life won. because life just proved nothing gold can stay. and as much as i hate to admit it, philip is right. I called him a skeptic for saying that, but now, i know, he was being a realist. i remember what Philip and Boris joked about the other day in Economics class. Oh man guys.. wthh. we to compete with them? we'll lose, hands down. i want to say thanks to Xue ting, Lydia and Melissa for being there for me and telling me its okay to feel the way i feel and always asking me if im okay. for even bothering. and boris, Philip, Palvin and Tze Hern for making me laugh on days when all i want to do is cry and retreat to my shell. and kenneth for knowing what happened and how i feel but not say a word. Venron for jsut being there, your presence is truly comforting. truth is, im not okay with whats happening. but im like the one sitting at the sidelines, just watching and observing. and trying to figure out how it turned out this way. Theres not one answer to this question is there. Losing something... someone, was never easy to me. Maybe thats why i never accepted anyone so easily. once again, life won.

life, you won.

on a happier note, Xue ting gave me a funny goodnight message yesterday. People in my class have several ways of spelling my name. And they include, Shu, syu, syuh, shoe and syhu?? yeahh. Xueting marked my birthday on her calendar as Shoerah's birthday and drew a Adidas shoe there! HAHH.

anyway, XT's goodnight msg was: Goodnight, you little pair of shoes.

HAH. little. at least as she called me little. i found that amusing. She has the most creative msgs i tell you.

Well, im going to off now and get my (well deserved??) rest?

Mun Ling, i dont know what happened to us but im jsut really occupied. Its been running through my head all this while, but i never let it out. but i figured it out now, you dont have to know, anymore.