The Believer; A Dreamer.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Good Ol' Days

How come the Good Ol' Days can still make me cry?

Reading ML's blog, its like innocence all over again. the ice kachang days, just sit in the classroom and listen to the teachers, simple canteen food, good friends to laugh with, simple funn PE, torturous nicknames, silly fights, making up and breaking up. All that Drama?!

I thought Sec 4 was hard, cos i had to catch with all my work as i didnt have a good year in Sec 3, but hell yeahh, College FIRST year - no academic year has beaten this one yet. Its really tough, but i know if i keep my head in it, and just do it, heart and sould and passion, im gonna pull thorugh. Ive made it through 7 months, its the 29th July now, i sure can make till Nov when Oral Presentation marks the end of PW and the school year. Then im off to my UK Lit Trip. Weeeeeeeeee~ Oh, and of course get promoted to Year 2. there is no way, no way in hell im repeating Year 1. It will be too much. Seriously. I wont repeat unless i really feel my foundations not up to standard. Well, let's just do our best, shall we? For 2 crazy months, and get Mid-course, out of the way, for once! =D Im exciting, HAH. im counting down already. wthhh.

Well, my weekend was not spent too wisely. Felt Emo on Fri so ended up watching a lot to teevee. All my competitors must be rejoicing. LOL. Saturday didnt do much either cos i was being a lazy bummmm! Visted Mum at the hosp. good news, she'll be back 1st august. I hope nothing happens to change that. =) It was nice visiting her. You know, i feel so much closer to her now, more than ever. Its a very nice fuzzy warm feeling. i likeeee. And sunday, i drew up a schedule, did my hmwk, did my revision. and im proud to say after reading the math Lecture booklet at all the different angles, i have understood Length of Projection. =D Seriously, im so proud of myself but i still have a mountain to climb with Chapter 11. cos i know NUTSSSSSS about it.

I didnt do anything PW this weekend, and i didnt attend FB Exco Meeting cos i overslept and it was raining. I felt so emo on Friday, i think i laughed too much with Nic Tan the day before. Never laugh too much, cos next time, you'll be damn saddd. Yeahh, i forgot about that rule. Anyway, im looking forward to Monday. Im still wondering of i should fast tmr cos i have intervals at the end of the end tmr. OMGGGG. and Safa is not going to be at school too. SOBBB. Malay is gonna SUCK. Eurghh.

I was a horrible CG rep on Fri. Damn. I guess, sometimes, even the most responsible person messes up right? i messed up big time. 938 Live was no bigg.. i think the whole incident screwed up the funn atmosphere. PLUSSSS, i got scolded in front of the whole LT. Damn. i really despise that teacher, that i shant even care to name. HURHHHH.

Well, i think i better jet, to do my PW. My part of the WR before my teammates start pointing fingers and blaming me for not doing my part. =)

I'll See you guys. LOVEEEEEE.
and all the innovians, and college students, have a nice week. it IS possible. *winks

i wanna end off with a some lyrics, but i cant think of any now. AHHHH. maybe next time.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Its been foreverrrrr!

When was the last time i blogged?!?!
hahah. ive been busy, with god knows what. Actually, ive really lost track of all my work from last week, and ive been too busy to update. Sorry people!

Well, ive been fasting for 2 days now! =D Well, im paying back my fast from the last fasting month (got it??) LOL. Well, i almost broke fast today cos i felt sickk. like the weather is all cold and chilly. i really dont like cold weather w/o my sweater. its horrid. terrible. and can somebody tell me why all the LTs are ALWAYS freezing?!!?! The rain isnt helping, you know! HURH. oh man, im complaining! okayokay. shall stop about the weather now. HAH. on the brighter side, have you noticed how the sum shines brighter after the rain? i bet you didnt know! well, i was walking home as usual... and my eyes wandered to the skies. Dont ask me why. And i saw the Sun. it was peeping over the blocks?? it was so bright and lovely. really. im not kidding. so, i snapped a couple of pics of the sun. pretty pretty pretty nature.

Anyway, yesterday was Econs test. I tell you, Dom Goh is super enthu about Econs can! HAHAH. i just had to say that cos the tecaher called him out the other day or whenever. Teacher's pet! well, i like Econs too, im jsut not good at it... yet. Hohoho. Well, Econs test was okayy. i think its the easiest of all the tests throughout the year cos its on 1 topic ONLY: Perfect Competition. PC is so much more fun! Well, i didnt manage to finish my essay, which sucks, i think i wasted too much time trying to get the words right or something. Damn. Oh well.

What else happened? Oh, was walking home with XT today to the MRT station. and she asked me why i dont talk to Boris and Philip anymore. and i laughed and i said cos they are SO irritating! HAH. they are. okayy. its in their nature. butbut, its most probably because Boris and I are just sick and tired of each other. if im not laughing with him, im scolding him. Hes my punchbag i tell you. i have no idea how he deals with it. lucky for me, philip and boris are very forgiving people.

Well, talking about Boris, Im suppose to be doing PW now. BOREEEEE! Im expecting my members to hand in their part of the WR to my email by 10pm. I really hope Boris and Tze hern does their work, or else we all know whats in it for them.

Ms Ng says i always look worried. Do I? thats not good is it? maybe math periods make me worried? HAH. Well, at least she noted that i tried to do something about Math. YEY. and tmr theres extra math lesson AND consultation! i told you i wanna improve in math.

Well, my mums still not discharged from the hospital. i hope she gets well soon. Now, i know what a pain a woman's mood swing can be, but it sure as hell doesnt stop me from having them!

I'll see you guys sometime. no idea when im going to update!

sometimes acting it all up saves a lot of time and energy.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Always loveddd

Cool Slideshows!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

A good week.

This week has been a good week.
im very thankful.

this week was testing my honesty, patience, and it also planted my feet back on the ground and made me count my blessings all over again.

Honesty, with regards to results. yeahh.. i finally told my dad. and i could see he was disappoint as would any parents. but, i knew he still supported me and he trusted that i would do something about my grades! in which of course i will! =D i will. i o want to graduate.

Patience, as usual, PW is a killer. Boris made me madd cos he was rude to me. and that is one thing i cannot take from somebody. If somebody was rude to me, i'll just tell him off. I hate rude people. they are so obnoxious. So, never be rude to me. cos my respect for you will totally diminish. as for Boris, i had to apologise, cos i called him an ass. HURHHH.. i will never understand Boris thio joo cai.

And i got to count my blessings again cos i was out on Wednesday to do community outreach programme (COP) with 9 othe rof my classmates. =D Helping the kidss.. visiting those adorable kids was such an enriching experience. i know, only i say that right? but i tot it was really cool! i met this girl who was like this super cool rocker girl cos she was lying down and just listening to music, and she looked all sullen. HAH. she did participate. and this adorable toddler who was breathing heavily cos he had tubes in his nose, i was helping him with the finger printingand i tot that he was going to cry or something cos i was being too rough, but apparently, he was just breathing heavily and as we left, we all said bye bye. he said by bye back!! how CUTEEEEE!!! i lovee kids. i do i do i do. Okay, when they are cute, when they beocme like US... hohoho. thats a different thing altogether. well, it was very meaningful and i had loads of fun.

after that, Lyd had cravings for anchovies, aka Ikna Bilis. dont ask me why, this girl is very weird. HAH. no offence, lyd. you are still my girl okay! =P So we went to Little india, and then we headed to bugis. i love bugis, but not the market bugis, we went to the market bugis apparently. My god, i hate crowded places. all the shoving in all the wrong places, bad bad plan. HAH. well, we were there to look for someone's birthday present! Guess who?! bet you culd guess! *hint: Goooooooo [bulls]!!* im have to keep vague here. sorry! see, Lyd, im jsut too nice to let it all out. HAH. We saw this uberrrr cool shirt that says: Life just gets better (and at the back) ...better. cool huh? well, we wanted it in black but apparently, there was only Large in white, so we decided not to buy. too baddddddd. walk walk walk, but still nothing. by then it was 5.30. Dropped by Topshop at Bugis and then on our way home by 5.50pm. YEY! sweet relief for my legs... im not a going out person, you see.

Well, on the MRT, we all stood in an enclosed circle, lemme tell you in was a super small circle cos you know how the train is durung peak hours... gotta hate it. LOL. anyway, being girls... we chatted and chatted and LAUGHED. and being the comical character that i am i of course made them laugh and myself too! =D so much fun. Train rides are always funnnw ith your girlsss. and of course it helped that there was a Caucasian guy! AWWWWWWWWW... superrrr cute can! he had nice hair and super atrractive face, and freckles all over. *gleeful smile upon face* HAHAH. im a sucker for caucasian guys and rught now, my favourite guy has got to be Shia Lebeouf, i apologise, i forgot how to spell hi name! anyway, hes in Time magazine? could your career get any better??! fortunate, and extremely talented. i hope he really is a rising star. =D he's got my support. *ahhhh whatever eh.. syuhrah* LOL.

It was great bonding time for me with Mel, Nic Tan and Lydia. You know how college is, you never get to know someone, really. So, make use of those train rides, get to know your classmates. i think Mel, Lyd and Nic Tan are awesome. Now, i can talk to them with more ease. its like a barricade down you know. And i loveeee Lydiaaaa Mak Shi Yun! HAHAH. for being there when XT wasnt present in school. For calming me down during the Boris Fiasco. for jsut always having the ability to make me laugh at myself and YOU!!! all the best for your future okayy... hehh. future, oh, you know what i mean! *ehem*

Well, gotta ciowssss! starting on Econs tut. im here to make a change people!

i love my PW group too. We'll pull through, right, Boristhio? We better DUDE.
HAH.
And TH, whos your least favourite person?? =D

all put ics up in the weekend. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ tmr is the final day of the schooling week.

A good week.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

ML's blog

i just read ML's blog.
im in tears.
i dont want to cry.
but i am crying.

i wasnt prepared to read it.
i thought i was.

for the past 2 weeks?
i thought i'd be just fine without you.
i could laugh.
i could do my work.
i could smile.

but for 2 weeks?
i didnt have you beside me
when i cried
when i got frustrated.
when i had to walk home by myself

Then, i realised i could be losing you cos you kept mentioning how Atari buddies were your new Bestfriends. WOW. even i dont call Whats up my bestfriends.

i started looking for comfort somewhere else.
i tried to find the good in everybody. even Boris and Philip.
and i found it in many.

but i realise, its not same as you.

noone laughs with me like you do when we talk about Fernando Torres.
noone giggles over the stupidest thing that i do like you.

everyday i see you and i try to occupy myself.
cos i cant see you anymore ML.
its so painful.
its like, i know youre there but i cant come to you cos it doesnt feel like you anymore.

many people cant make me smile the way you can, but they sure are trying.

i dont know if its you who isnt willing to let go
or that you are willing to let go but its jsut difficult.

Babe.
i cant be there for you nowadays cos i jsut feel that you are no longer the babe i could smile with.
do you how much it hurts to say that?
that i cant be there for you?
im so sorry.
Maybe thats why God gave you the Atari Buddies.
Maybe He knew that i couldnt take care of you anymore.
because maybe He knows, that you need them more than you need me.

thats the price you pay for being bestfriends right?
you know each other so well, it hurts when it all changes.

did you ever wish things were different?
if you could take your time with him back, would you?
i do.
I wish things were different.

We may not be gold, but our friendship is.
at least i think its priceless.
I miss you.
But i think we need to be on our own for a while.
At least until we're both ready to face our situation.

Tiredddd

hello. Last update of the day. HAH.

i just did half of my EoM and realised ive been typing CRAPP. but im too tired to re-do it now. its like 11.30pm. hmmmm... i'll do it tomorrow.

i ate a lot of fatty foods today. 2 pratas and some potato thing. ive been eating very little for the past few days but i think i totally made up for it with the 2 pratas. DAMN. =P well, thats okayyy. did i mention i actually put on weight. arghhhh. yeah as expected cos i was munching throughout the whole of June holidays. Humph. i have got to do somethg about it. hahh. Run with me anybody? shoot larh. that reminds me i have a run on Monday! goodness. i can barely run now. okay. tmr eat healthy, somehow.

well, i jsut chatted with Mun Ling today. i dunno, what to say to that. i guess, i just dont quite know her anymore. after weeks(??) of not spending time together... its like we've become almost strangers. She apparently forgot about my event too and hanged out with James, abel and Shunfu instead. errr... i dunno. PW is a good distraction. i did say i'd find a distraction. I talked about it to Venron too the night before. Maybe, its about time? once again, life won. because life just proved nothing gold can stay. and as much as i hate to admit it, philip is right. I called him a skeptic for saying that, but now, i know, he was being a realist. i remember what Philip and Boris joked about the other day in Economics class. Oh man guys.. wthh. we to compete with them? we'll lose, hands down. i want to say thanks to Xue ting, Lydia and Melissa for being there for me and telling me its okay to feel the way i feel and always asking me if im okay. for even bothering. and boris, Philip, Palvin and Tze Hern for making me laugh on days when all i want to do is cry and retreat to my shell. and kenneth for knowing what happened and how i feel but not say a word. Venron for jsut being there, your presence is truly comforting. truth is, im not okay with whats happening. but im like the one sitting at the sidelines, just watching and observing. and trying to figure out how it turned out this way. Theres not one answer to this question is there. Losing something... someone, was never easy to me. Maybe thats why i never accepted anyone so easily. once again, life won.

life, you won.

on a happier note, Xue ting gave me a funny goodnight message yesterday. People in my class have several ways of spelling my name. And they include, Shu, syu, syuh, shoe and syhu?? yeahh. Xueting marked my birthday on her calendar as Shoerah's birthday and drew a Adidas shoe there! HAHH.

anyway, XT's goodnight msg was: Goodnight, you little pair of shoes.

HAH. little. at least as she called me little. i found that amusing. She has the most creative msgs i tell you.

Well, im going to off now and get my (well deserved??) rest?

Mun Ling, i dont know what happened to us but im jsut really occupied. Its been running through my head all this while, but i never let it out. but i figured it out now, you dont have to know, anymore.

Post event

im writing again.
im boreddddddd....
well, im gonna start doing my EoM draft 1 ~~soon~~ by today.
im listening to the Last song ever by Secondhand serenade.
such a sadd song but i shant be emo-ing. im determined to not be EMO.
Seriously, why does Secondhand Serenade sing such sadddd songs? =(

besides, i heard some stuff about how im "not well liked" cos im so "dramatic". if i find out who said that and that person doesnt even know me, i'll be soooo not happy. If it were my classmates, i wont be mad cos they know me too well. i can be pretty emo. hehh.

Anyway, what did i do today? Collated the results from survey, sent it out to my Teammates. That was funn to do for some reason. HAH. seeing the results of our hardwork, even though it wasnt that great, was satisfying. like Phewwww.. something got done.

I checked my astrology too. I dont believe in this things but its amusing to read cos they turn out to be quite true. i guess its amusing cos you go all "ahhhh.. no wonder" and "damn.. should have seen that coming!". so anyway, checked for Mun ling's and She was amused too.

You guys should check yours too. im not talking about iundividual astrology okay.. couple astrology. its funny, fun and well, if you believe in it, it could help you with your lovelife.

Dont talk to me about lovelife. HAH. kidding. Ohhh...

Happy 19 Months to Venthemanron and Fio...!!

i dont know why people laugh when i call venron, ven the man. i call him that cos he really is the man. I think hes the only matured one in class. Okay, ian maybe, but ian can be emotional. Anyway, life's been rough to Venron so i can only hope it improves! you have my back dude, and always will okay! besides, im nice even in my worst moods and even your gf agrees. im honoured, really. HAH. =D

Ive a lot of work due monday not forgetting math. Urghhh i hate math.

oh, talking about math and thanks to Dommy for reminding me about MY results! Hurhhh.

i did okay? i dunno. i got a C, U, C, U, D, U. okay. not very pretty. but its okay for a first try isnt it? i got a U (dont fool yourself, U is really a freakin fail and S, a fail ) for Economics (as expected), math (as expected) and Lit (not really expected, tot i could get a S). So yeah. I got C's for Malay and GP. and D for History.

Im not pleased with my GP and History results. Actually im quite bitter about my GP results. WTHHH is a C?? i was hoping for a 30.. fell short of 2 points. Damn. History, i could have done better too. i barely made it. if i had studied better for SEA, and not left one of my essays half blank due to brain malfunction and the inability to think of appropriate points, i could have gotten a higher grade for the essay. and if my IH essay did have a proper conclusion i wouldnt have gotten a 11/25. my IH essay was full of ATQ's which means answer the question. Mr Mahmood is a strict marker. im so gonna work harder for History cos history is my lovee. i know that sounds cheesy cos noone loves academic subjects... but i really do love history and with Ms Loo as our SEA teacher.. all the better. Positive thinking, thats what i always say.

Economic and math, i have got to do somethg about that man. i got 20 ++ (according to %ages) for both subs and that calls for a disaster. not even close to a S! i dont know how im going to improve in economics, but math, i have to. i aim a D. Overall, i should be able to do okay in Math right? a U + D = Okay results, finally? i dunno.

I think Summer tests have woken all of us up. i see James writing in his nick and blog that he'll start studying in aug. WOW. well, college needs contant revision which is really blood sucking but you know what you got yourself into when you opted innova, syuhrah. All the best to all college students esp Innovians for Mid Course, and dont you dare say there's time!

Well, i better get going. im still to lazy to upload picssss... HAHA. too badddd.

the way that i feel tonight

so down so down

i pray i can swim

just so i wont drown

and the waves

that crash over me

i am gasping for air

take my hand

so i can breathe

as i write

this last song down

i cant tell how this last songs ends

Friday, July 13, 2007

the long awaited update

the long awaited update????
hahah.
not written in quite some time, all thanks to PW.
well, as Boris says, PW is a good excuse for missing CCA and now, writing blogs.

firstly,
does dommy = Dominic Goh Wee Kiat?
or just some dummy who cant spell DUMMY??

secondly,
What's wrong with being EMO??
for some reason, many people have a problem with me being emo. i think its cos i seem really depressed and i get all fired up easily. and i'll pick on the smallest thing. and someone, will ahve to be my punchbag. but i cant help it! im a girl. i've my mood swings. LOL. yeah well, no point me trying to explain. cos, history will repeat itself as long as a new month comes, PW continues, deadlines to catch and the ever hay-wire lifestyle of college.

ive been sleeping pass 0030h for the past 3 days. and yesterday i slept at 1.30++. im crazy i know. the things i would o for my PW team. *sniggers.

well, PW event 1 went well. =) im happy and im sooooo proud of my team for pulling it off! They listened and cooperated and im couldnt be happier. Seriously. and they said now that they are all excite for the Finals but ther refused to talk about the next preliminary round about the event. HAH.

But before and after the event was superrrr cool. Thanks to Boris Thio and Poh Tze Hern. who knew they were talented. They dont belong to a college man, seriously. They are creative people who thrive on creative-ness, so college doesnt quite enourage that.

Anywya, before the event, we had the LT all to ourselves! yey! so, the boys, including Palvin played around with the mic. and TH has a band right, and he digs the whole gig scene so he was acting like some kind of artiste! it was the funniest thing. cos he was going all over the LT with the mic in hand and doing the whole concert thing. it was so amusing. and they did a rendition of Linkin park's In the End with Boris "rapping", and i tot it was so cool! i wished i'd recorded it! And boris was trying to the the whole dance movement thing. you knwo how hip hoppers, they stature on the stage. yeah, he did that the walk the hunch andall that. and TH was like " Eh dont me laugh eh, i cannot beat box like that!" HAHAHA. and then they were singing some song with Lyd, and suddenly, TH stopped and so did Lyd but not boris and TH said " can you stop with the bass?!" *lughs loudly with Lydia. and Boris was like singing and singing with TH. they are creative man. and they were really supportive about my speech altho i tot it was a disaster. And them being calm made me more calm in the process.

And beofre the event strted and the schools strated coming in, we put our hands together, i said some motivational stuff like lets do it and dont screw things up (hah) and how we're so close to getting it done, and the we shouted, shirley! HAHAHAHA. i know its lame ut my team is made up of 2 lame-asses and one more part lame-ass so, it works out fine. state of Equilibrium.. is that what you call it?

So, the schools came around and it was fine really. the whole event. the brochures were pretty pretty thanks to Boris and TH. and Pei Bao recorded our event and Nicole, well, she helped out with stuff. my speech was almost a disaster. im so going to be more prepared when the 2nd part of our event comes around! YEY.

And after the event was fun too cos they rapped more and we had the LT for like 2 hours. they dimmed the lights, and we talked laughed. Drank horrible Green Tea and cleaned up. i'll put the pics up some other day. the LT is a so much better place then KBox. LOL. Mel and Lyd joined us too.

oh did i said my team looked absolutely great in ties. HAH.

Well, school was fun and we finally got everythg almost done. I know my team will survive, we jsut really have to do our WR and all other documents well, and we'll pull through.

Joke of the day:
Ms Yap reads: Intimacy conveys the meaning of being Restricted and Confined.
Ms Leong: *smiles Prisoners must feel very intimate!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA.

Did you guys get it??? that was so funny. im laughing now. that was during Lit class.

I apologise my entry wasnt very detailed today. maybe i'll edit it next time. i cant seem to get my mind on track cos im talking to Venrom over MSN now.

i had a good day. i hope days like these will happen.

Okay, no emo post okay, Dommy. HAH. Tag!~

Monday, July 9, 2007

things never hurt the way they do now.

seeing you made me happy.

seeing you makes me sad.
seeing you brings me disappointments.
seeing you brings me confusion.
seeing you makes me want to cry.
seeing you makes me want to run the other way.
see you...

its getting difficult.
how did it get difficult?
love, could it ever be the same.

im afraid that you'll know how i feel.
second best, never satisfied me.
so i have no right to want 2 things at a time.
you have found your happiness,
i shall find a distraction.
its not the same, love.

maybe it'll get better.
maybe i'll be able to look ahead and see you and wont crumble,
at your sight.
maybe, i will wake up and i wont feel so insecure about us.
things never hurt the way they do now.
everything seems multiplied and magnified.

Things never used to hurt the way they do now.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Post FB camp

Just camp back from Floorball Camp.

*IJ WoOoosSh*

Well, it ended on Saturday actually so its not just larhhh...

hahh. Camp was okay... i mean, i made good friends so im not longer friend-less. =) but the seniors were not too patient with me. i mean, not all of cos, seniors like Natria, Ayuni and Munirah were SUPER nicee. love them and Fadhillah and Anne and Iris were good too. I think i was most bonded with Natria. shes super cute and a total drama queen.

So there were stuff like Star gazing and ~~movie matrathon~~, scratch that, Miss Vyna cancelled movie marathon after watching how bad we were during training. damn sad can? HAH. instead of a movie marathon, guess what we had? MORE training. okay, actually, this is one of slack-iest camp ive been to. i mean, there was not much training except for the boys who had a friendly with NTU the next day (sat) so, it was pretty chilled but PT sucked as usual. Instead of having a fun Obstacle course as PT, thanks to the Rain, we had to run 8 rounds around the hall and 5 sets of 10, of 5 exercise. Does that make sense? that includes, Jumping jacks, push ups, stomach crunches and i cant remeber what the other was called but we ended with 20 squats. Goodness me. Lol. after PT. my appetite for food was soo gone. i just drank Milo, and had a piece of bread with Kaya. i likeee Kaya. hahah. and we watched video clips with the guys like at 12++ till 2++? i slept on Lela's shoulder towards the end, and after i was more awake, thanks to Rochester's screams and clapping (he apparently scored), i let Lela take her turn to sleep on my lap. So, all's fair. =) Sleep was not so comfortable. Missed my hugging pillow but i woke up like once or twice during the night. it was soooo cold!! hahah. i used 4e2's class shirt to cover my face cause was afraid someone would see me droooool. so not cool larh!

Here are some pics. Enjoy!

When we first got in, there was a cockcroach. So all of us freaked out and Siti was trying to remove it from the Dance Studio with her FB stick, it was so funny. and Natria wanted to whack the cockroach but didnt want to use her slippers! LOL. and so she used this box, but that box was not heavy enough to kill it cos the moment Nat picked the box up, the cockroach, it crawled away. EEEKZKZZK! =D and Siti used her stick to sweep it out and then Lela, made it commit suicide by use Siti's Stick to fling it out of the corridors!! HAHAH. Damn funny. What a start to a place we were going to sleep right?

After that Atassha, Lela and I found this letters and wanted to figure it out, and this is what we came out with:

Yeah, that doesnt quite make sense. LOL.

We played Murderer towards the night and that was VERY fun. And since it was the dance studio, we all did some stretching to loosen up those muscles after the ever tiring Water Bombs and Sabotage Games. hehhh.

Sorry for that UN-glamourous pic, Lela! =D

Star gazing at the Parade Square, it was suppose to be at Teletubby Hill... but.. this is our Beautiful school at night. i likeee Innova. but.. well, you know, there are always BUTSSSSS...

After bathing, rested in the Dance Studio while eating Aza's yummy sweets and took pics with Senior Iris. Weeeeee` We took like 3 times but HAH, i like this the best.

And then, Video Time, with the Guy FB Team. We had to introduce ourselves and i had SOMEBODY so cutee asking me a question. Even though it was a pretty silly question. LOL. love roaches dont we, Mun Ling?? HAH.

The morning, woke up at 6am. And took this pic, i like this pic for some reason.

And then we had PT. Had breakfast. and then, We had time to bath but many of us didnt bath cos hell, we were going to have 3 hrs of training! and we decided to create havoc in the Dance Studio and Play Floorball instead of resting. Was passing balls with Vanessa and then decided to join a Mini Match. HEH. check us Out.

This is an example of a Face off. and that is Atassha and Aza, they are both in the IJ Team 07!

But soon, it was time to jet. hehh. just for the fun of it, (haha)

And then, before we broke camp, we celebrated all our birth days!

We each had our own candle, and mine is the one between aug and Babies, the Pink candle of course. DUHHHHH. hahahaaahah.

The beautiful cake was cut up.. and this is my piece. Yummy.

Well, that was the end of FB camp Pics. i got loads more pics tho. and News. HAH. but i wanna do SEA Essay outline first. Maybe i'll update, maybe i wont.

In summary, just in case i do not update later:

Did you guys wear Green ysterday and today? i hope so! =D Do your part okehh.. and Torres(equals LOVE <33) is in liverpool. weeeeeeeeeee~ And tonight at 8.40pm (??) there will be a match between Rafael Nadal ( equals to LOVE too!! <33) and Roger Federer for the Men's singles in Wimbledon. Venus won for the Ladies already so i hope... NADAL CAN WIN THIS ONEEEEE!!! YEY! Actually, my 2 favourite Tennis Players met at the Semis again, but due to back injury, Djokovic opted out of the competion. Awwwww... i hope he gets better soon so that he can make Nadal run for his money! BUT for tonight, Nadal is going to make Federer run for his money! so excited ehhhh... =)

I heard my dad got into an accident. But no worries, he's fine. Not talked to him yet but my grams called to confirm with me. God, thank you for taking care of my dad. And dad!! i told you be careful when driving, righttttt???? You scared the hell out of all of us. But, we are glad youre fine. Have a safe ride home, please.

i found this song from Secondhand Serenade. This band is awesome, cos their material sounds almost acoustic, so, its really nice. I like this song most. Its called,

Broken.

In the moonlight

Your face it glows

Like a thousand diamonds

I suppose

And your hair flows like

The ocean breeze

Not a million fights

Could make me hate you

You're invincible

Yeah, It's true It's in your eyes

Where I find peace

Chorus:

Is it broken?

Can we work it out?

Let's light up the town, scream out loud!

Is it broken? Can we work it out?

I can see in your eyes

You're ready to break

Don't look away.

So here we are now

In a place where

The sun blended

With the ocean thin.

So thin, we stand

Across from each other

Together we'll wonder

If we will last these days

If I asked you to stay

Would you tell me

You would be mine?

And time Is all I ask for

Time

I just need one more day

And time

You've been crying too long

Time And your tears wrote this song

Stay

In the moonlight

Your face it glows

Chorus

i fell this song fitted when ML and i had the fight. okay, maybe not the "you would be mine?" part, but all the other part. Jut leave out all the lovey-dovey thing, we're Bestfreiends, not lesbs. we're BABES! hahah =D

Alrightey... Cheers then. wanna munch on something before i start on SEA.

i need help. but i dont know who to ask it from. and i dont even know whats the problem.

im scared, i never used to need people to tell me i'll be alright, i always knew. but now, i dont.

it scares me shitless.

i dont want to go to school tmr.

PW = Torture... NOT LOVE

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

a better day

hello.

today was a better day than expected.
TXT went home earlier so thats quite sad, so my day spent mostly with Sheryl Goh. Boris and philip hang out with the guys mostly.

In a summary what happened today?

Well, Mr arzami did not turn up for GP today, so that was free period. We collected class fund, and i read Time Magazine. TXT was having a plitting headache so she rested. I talked to Palvin too! I never knew he ever stayed in Australia! Cool stuff hurh? he left in his "developing years" and thats why he turned out the way he did, so he says! HAHH. Then, we talked more, it was very interesting. After that i heard Philip calling me. EURGH. hahah. i said i ddint want to go to where Phil and Bor was sitting so Bor came up with some lame excuse like he needed to talk about PW to me. HURH. like im a fool. LOL. so, i just said i didnt want to talk to them. They jsut giggledgiggled as usual.

Then it was Math, and math was ok too. =D Sher, XT and I talked to Ms Ng for a bit after class ended about what a disaster Math was. Sighhh.

Then it was break and the guys ate together. and Sher, ML and I ate together.

Then it was Math Lect. That was fun too cos Palvin was behind me and he was sooooo desperate to get me to OCS. HAHH. okay, actually, he had the thought of leaving even if there wasnt a substitute, so he was bribing me with food. For example, a whole week of Mentos - tempting but imagine how unhealthy! And then, he asked " Ok, what do YOU want?" and i joked, let Liverpool win EPL for next season. HAH. and he said, ok larh, second can or not?? i jsut smirked. Then, i asked, okay, what about, Freshly baked Famous Amos?? and he was like, Whats that? Who doesnt know Famous Amos? and he said, once can? and yeah, he continued distracting me all the way through Math. LOL. oh, did i mention he was making fun of what the Math teacher was saying too! The Lamda and geometry word! it was so amusing! Tze Hern was laughing till his face went red! Well, soon Math Lect ended, and we dispersed to go to Econs tutorial. The first ever for this term. I wasnt looking forward to it.

Got to class, and Mr Lim was there. Surprisingly he was pretty friendly. He was being funny and casual and that helped a lot. but when he got to the DRQ section, i was soooo close to falling asleep. but, econs was overall Surviv-able.

After that PW. Confusion and outrage came out then. not from me. not much form me anyway. i just chased Tze Hern and BOr to do the inetrview with the debate teacher but being slobbs, they didnt. so in the end, Pei Bao and I ended up doing PW in the lib. Pei bao was getting a little fired up by the Boys, and i was trying to calm her down. cos, i really didnt want the boys to hate PW again. though i think they still do, but nvm. So, Boris was talking to PB over the phone and then he talked to me, and i sensed a slight panic in his voice. Did i mention the word "complaint" reels him up? yeahh, PB used it on him. SO, he was like "why you so angry?" and i wnated to laugh. Cos i wasnt angry and hearing him flustered was funny. So i said, "im not angry, just frustrated. come on larh.. you did say you would be interview her today!" and he was trying to say how thats not so important, and etc. so i just told him his task again. SIGHHH. i shouldnt be so hard on the boys, at least they are volunteering again to do some tasks. PB asked why i still treat them like my friends when i should be strict with them.... hmmmm... cos they are firstly my friends, then my teammates? i dont know. i jsut dont like to be angry all the time... i guess. i mean, look what happened yesterday!

So, I left school at 2.45 to head over to my place with Pei Bao. She stayed and editted the whole thing till 6pm. But i think it was very productive today jsut tiring cos the boys werent around to help. But nvm, tmr, theres more to do! =D

*
*
*

Ok, this brings me to the more serious part of my entry.
Yesterday.

My blog entry previously, caused a lot of fury and upset some people. James most especially. Boris read it but i dont know if he was mad about it. but he said he wasnt cos i think i wrote his paragraph jokingly, a bit. mun Ling got a little mad tho' she didnt know my entry but i guess she knew enough.

But the rest of my entry were really quite blunt.

So im here to apologise. Cos i didnt have the intention to hurt anyone's feelings. I just wanted to write about how sucky my day was.

Its hard to explain, i guess. and i dont know if an explanation is what the people ive hurt would want to even hear, or read. So, i dont know how to redeem myself, except to apologise.

Im sorry James, cos i know that i made you angry/pissed/upset about it. But i had no intention to. Well, i guess its up to you to accept my apology. i dont know, if all of this is enough though, i mean, if there was a way i could make it up to you, talk to me about it. i mean, we are.. (were??) friends... so i mean, we can talk. you dont have to talk through ML. i can take what i deserve.

I might be making my blog Private soon. i cant take hurting my friends' feelings anymore. i mean, thats not what im out blogging to do. i jst want to write. my own freewill, you know. So, maybe it'll be public for a few more days before i make it private. which sucks really cos i dont want to make it private cos i want people to read and tag and i guess thats what im going to have to give up. Nvm, it ok. i'll take things as they come.

So... i'll see you. maybe. again. i dunno.
sorry James, again.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

First Day of the Week

Today was alright right up until Lunch.
i had a bicker with ML cos she totally --- too freaking lazy to explain
Whatever larh.
After that we were ok.

Had lit and Lit would have been good if we had been divided into some groups. GEEZ. I was with Sundran so that wasnt so bad. But it sucked enough cos my group was like not interacting well, and we were just slow.

Then, i had free period(s) cos my Malay teacher was out doing A levels Oral as an Examiner. Thus i sat there, talked to Sue a bit, but then decided to help my teammates with the PW calling instead. Thus, i called the schools but same old same old. I either had to call another time or... Admiralty said no to the participation. SIGHHHH.

By the end of the whole calling process, with a set of Rules and Regulations, i was damn tired and all i wanted to do was get home and rest. Sorry if i sound like such an aunty.

Mun Ling was talking about KFC but seriously man, all i want to get home. Besides, she can always go with her Atari Buddies right? So she left to i-dont-even-know-where-the-hell while i waited for my PW members to come down for a short meeting.

Once they arrived, i talked but i felt my batt just running lowwwwwwww.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, i said in my head. Boris was cooperative cos, duhh, he jsut wanted to get out of there. Discuss, discuss, discuss... End.

Boris called Philip and we waited, but i thought ML was going home with me so i asked Philip to wait for me so we can go home together. but being the BIG HUMONGOUS ass that he is, he scrunched up his face and pointed to his stomach and shook his bloody head and said hes not waiting for me. *Spitts major profanities in my head*

I just started dialling for ML,while Boris was laughing at something that i, sure as hell, did not find amusing. ML did not pick up her phone so i smsed her. By this time, i was worn, cranky moody and damn pissed. WHERE THE HELL IS ML?!?!??!?!???!?!?!???!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!?!?!!!!!!
Boris, Philip and Sheryl had gone off without me. *again, spitting profanities*

Waiting for ML, and guess the bloody what?!?!?! she was having Oral and asked for me to go home first. Thus, here at that very second, i was, only god knows, DAMMMMNNNN angry. to be exact, pissed out of my mind.

but nevermind, began walking to CWP myself. i hate walking to CWP by myself. but shit, i felt that if anyone had walked with me, i could have just cried from being so angry and tired.

Boris called and asked if i was joining them. i gave him a deadpanned tone of no and he was like "Why you so sad like that?" if i could, my hand would be on the other side of the telephone, strangling him till he --- you know the ending. He asked about James, WTHHHHHHH would i know about James?? i am so not a fellow atari buddy, Boris. You should be asking ML or Abel that!!!!

So i walked off alone.

And i met Farhan at the BusStop. Talked a little though i really didnt feel like talking. SIGHHHH. Thankfully, he took a different bus than me so it saved me a lot of trouble of trying to fake that im OK when im not. Im usually ok with Farhan cos he's a nice dude. And he deserves to be nice to, cos hes a decent guy. Su is lucky to have him.

Anyway, went home and---

Seriously, i just want to say WHATEVER to today. cos it sucked. the ending sucked. SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED.

And i know that tomorrow aint going to be any better. and that makes today SUCK even more.

Atari buddies?
Whats Up?

Where do i lie?

they should create LonerCo. as a Clique or something.
I'd be the first to join.

Why do i still respect people who dont respect me back?
Face down in the Dirt she says, this doesnt Hurt, she says, ive finally had enough.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Not Reasy for School

My hours are counting down...
School aka HORROR of all HORRORS are beginning.
im not ready for school.

1) not physically - since ive been eating a lot and i feel like ive definitely put on weight. damn. and also because of my pimple plantation (thanks to TXT for coming up with that word!). God save me. Ive got to spend the rest of the night finding a way to arrange my hair so that my pimple plantation wont be that obvious, if thats even possible! I jsut got my Oxy thingies to help me improve my pimple plantation and instead of the usual 5% of benzoyl peroxide, my bro and i ahve decided to step it up to 10% of benzoyl perozide. So far, no burning sensation whatsoever. Phew! But guess what i genious little brother bought the cover up version instead of the colourless one, so the pimple cream now looks like concealer. Oh, hail the genious. Hurh, seriously? like one day before school reopens??! o_O So right after we got home, i tried it out. OMGGGG. nahh.. exaggerating not that bad larh.. but i wouldnt recommend. i still prefer Oxy 5 the colourless one. Anyway, was reading TXT's blog when my rbo walked in after cleansing his face and all... and guess what, he came in and called me and i turned around and to my amusement, my rediculously funny brother had put the Oxy thing ALL over his face!!! HAHAHAHAHAH. i dont know if you guys got it but... trust me, its jsut really funny. we were both laughing at him.. and he was like " ok larh, im going to rest now." BLAHHHHH. wthhh. hahah. he is so funny. and now, h sits beside me sketching his art cos hes in D&T, yeahhh.. last minute homework or something.

2) not mentally - Seriously, whats worse than doing the exams? getting the results to your exams. May God be with me. I am terrified to my bones. Ive accepted im going to fail all my subjects but really, ive not accepted the fact that i could possibly fail everything even when i have put in (maybe) more effort than most of my classmates who will do better than me. Life is seriously unfair. i reiterate UNfair.

3) not emotionally - i think between tmr and the rest of the week, i am going to receive many surprises. mostly bad i think, and im not just talking about exams results. i mean, even my friendship with my bestfriend. i feel quite distant from her and it makes me sad. but sometimes, i like to be alone, i like crawling back into my shell where i feel most save. This has nothing to do with self-esteem, i jsut like peace and serenity. And Mun Ling and i have been on this Roller-coaster ride and its spinning me crazy. like one time, i can take her around, and the next, i just cant. and i feel bad cos im her bestfriend, and bestfriends stick together not matter what, and i always forgot that especially when she needs me the msot. Does that make me a lousy bestfriend? Im still learning. My outburst on MSN with her jst deteriorated. i know i meant well, but i also know that she deserved to be told nicely, not to have it spat on her like that. sometimes, i need space too. i dont know what to expect from Mun Ling from tmr.

i just hope i'll survive tmr.
~~shoot. i shouldnt have gone for FB camp. Shucks.~~

Well, I watched the Concert for (Princess) Diana today. It was really sweet. i better make this quick cos my Moday Night Laughs shows are passing by quick. Lol. Well, there were many artistes and it was a joyous event that commemorated either her supposedly 46th birthday or 10 years since she passed away. im not sure... but i saw the interview with Prince William and Prince Harry and it was really good. They were really honest and you could tell that its not a piece of cake being Princes. They get a lot of crapp too.

Well, i think im off. Wanna watch Shows. Hmmm.. i sent back My Friend called Leonard.. im turly sad but i shall blog about that book next time!

Tata! Loveeee.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Live Earth and Broken Envy

Well, im sure you, addicted-to-the-teevee people, have seen this at least a couple of times!! Yes, my friend, its the live earth campaign, meant to create awareness about the global issue, global warming and encourage ignorant people, like you and i, to do SOMETHING to save Earth. So on 7 july 2007, wear a green shirt (even if you are at home), be home by 7pm and glue yourself to your seat and watch the concert for a climate in crisis. Not much to ask for, really. There will be up to 8 stages from all over world. And millions will be tuned in (remember live 8 - the concert held to combat poverty, its going to be something like that) to "fight" global warming and "save" earth. There are many things you could do, so here are just some tips i took from http://www.mtvswitch.org/ You ought to visit that site and http://www.liveearth.org/ Seriously, more educational than YouTube.

Little thiings that will make a huge difference

1) take a shower instead of a bath

2) take off those chargers when you are done with them

3) dont let your elctric appliances be on standby, they still consume energy, just switch it off, like totally!!

Yup. i find those useful to my everyday life. Hey, do your part. Remember 7 July 2007! Be aware and start stepping up your actions.

Anyway, since ive done that im going to tell you a terrible incident i had today!! sighhh.

I broke my Gucci Envy. SOBBBBBBBB.

It was accidental but nevertheless the whole thing broke apart and i could savour nothing, not even a drip!! im just left with a piece of glass from it and many many memories. HAHH. ok, sorry but i liked that perfume. i barely even used it! like 1/5 of it?? Come on!! Why oh why?? her are the remnants of my bottle of Gucci Envy. Now and forever it will sit atop my other memoirs like the mesh cap (that i never used) that Badruddin gave me for bdae, the cute little alphabet i got from Mei Juan and Mun Ling birthday pressie for me last year. You will be missed. <33 style="font-size:85%;">SOBBBBBBBBBB-again.

My bro just laughed when he saw me putting up the pictures... WHATEVER, just because you still have your DavidOff.

okayokayy, im done for today. i wanted to watch Djokovic's replay match today, but i just got to see mauresmo and jankovic and ivanovic play. SIGHHH. all the Serbians but not the Serbian i wanted to see.. Where are you Novak Djokovic??? im crazy, i know. Look at that! *smiles gleefully* So damn good! =D